The Beginning: An Impasse
by PiercingGoldenEyes
Summary: The eclipse is over & dawn is about to break.Will Bella & Edward get married?What happens to Jacob?Will Bella be turned into a vampire?WHAT is Edward's secret that he has been hiding?These Qs & more will be answered in The Beginning: An Impasse. ExB R
1. Permission

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**Disclaimer: All characters from the most amazing book ever, Twilight, are unfortunately owned by Stephenie Meyer and not me. Any similarities with Breaking Dawn are mere coincidences. I did not copy the manuscript for Breaking Dawn!**

**Author's Note: **

**Chapter Summary: Bella is remembering the night before when she and Edward told Charlie they would be getting married. She's mad at Edward, and you will learn why in the next chapter! So keep reading please! Sorry if it's a bit confusing!**

**The Song for this Chapter is _Perfect Day_ by CASCADA.**

**SPOILERS FOR ANYONE WHO HASN'T READ TWILIGHT, NEW MOON, AND ECLIPSE!!**

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Chapter 1: Permission

I woke up and felt something around me. _That's strange,_ I thought to myself. I don't remember Edward staying the night. Did I even open the window? After all the drama last night I guess I just fell asleep, crying, the moment I hit the bed.

Then how did Edward get in? He probably used his "super-strength" as I like to call it.

I gently twisted myself to get more comfortable and not to disturb Edward.

We had been through so much together, but right now I needed some time to think.

Last night definitely didn't go as well as I thought it would. I groaned at the very thought of it.

I remember walking through the door, dreading what Charlie would say. Especially since he and Renée didn't work out and they did what Edward and I are about to do. Except for the part about Edward being a vampire and about to make me one, too, of course.

I chuckled. Quietly though. I guess they _never_ considered that when they made their decision. However, that reason may have let us get married. If Charlie and Renée believe it, that is.

Let me try to remember what happened last night.

Edward and I walked in to Charlie watching a baseball game on TV. No surprise there.

"Dad," I had said, "Edward and I need to talk to you."

"Sure Bells. What's up?"He had asked innocently.

Underneath I knew he had been acting like a cop, observing his surroundings. Unfortunately, this time his emotions got in the way of his job. He probably had had a million thoughts going through his head. I was now surprised that he had not realized the ring on my left index finger at the time.

I'll have to remember to ask Edward what Charlie had been thinking at that time.

"I'm not sure how to tell you… but, um…" I stumbled around, trying to find the right words.

"What she means," Edward took over, "is that I, we, would be honored if you gave us your blessing for us to be married."

"What?" Charlie said in disbelief. He clearly had been thinking of something less drastic than that. In his opinion anyway.

"I said 'I would like your permission, and blessing, to marry Bella.' You have no idea how happy I-we-will be if you say' 'yes.'" He said in that liquid honey voice of his, starting to use his "dazzling" powers.

With super-strength, super-speed, and "dazzling" powers, he can't blame me for once thinking that he was a superhero.

He was right, anyway. Charlie didn't even have half of a clue of how happy Edward would be I Charlie said 'yes.' Or how happy he would make me for that matter.

"I heard you." He said gruffly. Even worse than when Edward came back after leaving me.

I often tried not to think about that even though most of the wounds had closed up. Edward didn't like me to think about it anyway, even though he couldn't hear my thoughts. I think it actually hurt him more than it hurt me.

After a few moments Charlie said, "What caused you to come to this rash decision?"

"What do you mean?" I remember asking, being extremely confused.

I had looked at Edward to see if he would give me any clues of what Charlie was thinking.

He had just looked straight ahead. Still holding my hand, the one with Elizabeth Cullen's wedding ring on it, yet he was tense as if he was scared. It was one of the few times I saw him that way.

I had nearly laughed at how scared he seemed. The Edward I had always known was confident, brave, and perfect. This one didn't look like him at all. If Edward had blood, I would have said that all the blood had left his face. I remembered feeling triumphant. His little imperfections made always made me feel better about myself. At that point, I had looked back at Charlie to see what he would say.

"I mean is this the trend nowadays? To marry after high school? Or did something else bring this up…?" He had asked.

Ewww! Dad and his "sex talk" again.

"NO! DAD! PLEASE!" I had yelled trying to make him stop, even thought I had known that Edward could hear what Charlie had been thinking.

I remember how he had had a small grin on his face, but the rest of his body was still tense. That's not so hard when you don't have to breathe or pump blood through your body.

At that moment I had started considering what would happen if Charlie said no. _Would Edward wait for me to finish college?_ Of course he would, he wanted to keep me human for as long as possible. _But would I be willing to wait?_ I _definitely_ didn't want to be 22 to his 17. _Well, we could always elope,_ I had decided.

Then Charlie had said, "I can't handle this. I'm calling your mother."

That was even worse. My mom had VERY strong opinions on this topic. "But, she had seen how I was with Edward in Florida last year. She knew how much he meant to me. Maybe she'd understand." I had hypothesized. How wrong I had been.

As Charlie had been calling her, I had sat down staring into nowhere. The only thing that had kept me back on Earth was Edward gently stroking my hand.

After a few minutes, Charlie had given me the phone. Obviously Renée had saved her yelling for me unlike using up all her anger on Charlie as I had hoped.

"Isabella Marie Swann! What is the meaning of this?" Renée had yelled.

"Hi Mom. I love you, too." I remember saying sarcastically.  
She had actually had a worse reaction than Charlie. That was new for me. "I guess the meditation classes aren't working out so well."

"This is no time for jokes, Isabella. After all I've done for you to make sure your life doesn't end up like mine, you decide to repeat my biggest mistake." She had said.

"Mom, I don't mind if I turn up like you. You're my role model. There is no one else I'd rather be like. And if not for that 'mistake,' I wouldn't be here right now." I had pointed out.

"Bella," she had sighed. I had definitely hit a nerve. "We are not talking about my past. We are talking about your future. Do you want to spend the rest of your life married? Without another free moment to yourself? Aren't there other things you want to do before you commit yourself?" she had argued.

"But if I'm with Edward I won't need any time on my own. He's all I need and want. Can't you see how happy I am with him?" I had pleaded. And my 'life' was going to be over soon, so why did it matter? I don't really think a vampire life is what she meant.

"Honey, you know we only want what's best for you," she had said. I stayed quiet waiting for the 'but.'" "But," what do you know? "We think this is a bit sudden."

"Mom, we've known each other for over a year now. And you've met him. Isn't that half of it? And he and Charlie have become great friends." I had lied. Well sort of. At least they acknowledged each other and they used to be until Edward left, but they were getting there.

When I had said that Edward had shot his stone-like glare at me.

"Just stick with it." I had mouthed once I had gotten over his evil, almost venomous, glare. That's a little ironic actually.

He had seemed to understand because then he had out his arm around me. I think Alice had told him everything was going to end up working out because he had then seemed much more relaxed.

Under different circumstances, which included Renée not fighting with me over my wedding and Charlie in the other room, he would have gone farther. His eyes had been the lightest shade of gold, the shade I remembered from that week after he had come back from Alaska.

But that single arm had felt so comforting, caring, and reassuring all at the same time which had given me more courage to face my parents. _Is that even possible?_ I thought now. _Can all those feelings be conveyed through one touch? _I shouldn't be surprised, with Edward anything is possible.

"I know, but remember how he had left you last fall, and you were so upset." Renée had countered softly. She still didn't like remembering how I had acted then.

"Yes Mom, but, trust me, that's not going to happen again." I had said with certainty.

"But what if it does? And things don't work out and you come running to me or Dad? Then what? How can you be so sure?" She had questioned.

"Because last time I didn't think he loved me anymore. Now I know he'll love me forever. Even if he did leave me," Edward had glared at me again as I had said that, but I had ignored, or tried to anyway, "I know he'll still love me forever no matter what happens."

"Are you sure about that?" Renée had asked speculatively.

"Of course. Forever is all I need." I had replied.

After a few moments she had said, "Put your father back on."

I had given the phone back to Charlie and then had cuddled up next to Edward.

"You know I'll never leave you," he had said whispering into my hair, "So why did you tell your mother that?"

"You know she wouldn't understand," I had explained. He hadn't been buying it. I had sighed, "I had to tell her something. It's better to lie to her than say nothing at all. After 17 years of living with her, you tend to figure those kinds of things out. Besides, I wasn't really lying. I know you'll love me forever so I don't have to worry about you leaving."

We had sat together for what had seemed to be an eternity. Finally, Charlie had walked back into the room.

"Well?" I remember asking.

"We give you our blessing, and Renée says you don't technically need permission because you're both over 18, but we still give it anyways."

Edward and I had already told Charlie that Edward's birthday was in the winter which was really only half of a lie. Edward really was born in the winter, but after a century of immortality, he had forgotten the exact day.

"May I see the ring?" Charlie had asked quietly.

I had slowly unclasped my hand from Edward's and had showed him Elizabeth Masen's ring on my left hand.

Charlie had gasped when he had seen the web of diamonds encircling my finger.

"It had been Edward's mother's." I had commented quietly."I t had been with Edward at the orphanage." I had lied.

"It's beautiful." Was all that he had said.

After a few seconds to compose himself, he had said, "Have you decided when it will be?"

"Alice is planning the wedding. She was very pushy about it." And she would have hated me forever if I had gone through with the Vegas plan. "She's decided sometime in August." I had said waiting for a reaction. There had been none.

"I'll be in my room if you need me." Was all he said, going against his parental supervision rule.

I had watched him as he had climbed the steps.

"He's really happy for you, you know." Edward had said, breaking my concentration. "But it's really hard for him. He doesn't want you to put too much faith in me. He thinks I'll leave you again." He had said chuckling. He had obviously been hiding something from me.

In real life, Edward whispered in my ear, unsure, "Bella?"

I pretended to be asleep, even though I knew that he knew was faking.

"I know you're awake," What do you know? "I'm going to go now. Charlie just woke up and in a little while he's going to come in, just to warn you. I'll call later. If you want me to, that is."

"Hmm." I couldn't quite form the words I wanted to say to him just yet.

"I love you." He whispered, kissing my hair.

My heart started beating faster and I was about to turn to kiss him back, forgetting what had happened last night, but when I did, he was gone.

"I love you, too." I whispered softly. I knew he had heard me.

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	2. Gone

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**Disclaimer: All characters from the most amazing book ever, Twilight, are unfortunately owned by Stephenie Meyer and not me. Any similarities with Breaking Dawn are mere coincidences. I did not copy the manuscript for Breaking Dawn!**

**Author's Note:**

**Chapter Summary: Bella is still remembering what happened the night before and you get to find out why Bella is slightly mad at Edward (she can't stay mad at him for TOO long. As you know, holding grudges is not one of her better talents.). This chapter and chapter 1 are both set the day after the end of ****Eclipse**** when Bella and Edward are in the meadow. I'm setting this up as if the epilogue is the same day as the last chapter in ****Eclipse.**

**The Song for this Chapter is _Gone _by Kelly Clarkson.**

**If there is any confusion, review please and I'll answer your question.**

**SPOILERS FOR ANYONE WHO HASN'T READ TWILIGHT, NEW MOON, AND ECLIPSE!!**

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Chapter 2: Gone

Edward had been right. No sooner had he left, Charlie walk in to check on me.

It was so much easier to pretend I was asleep with him than with Edward.

When he came to kiss me on the cheek, I felt a teardrop fall from his eye to my face. Then, he left and I heard his car drive away.

I stayed in bed and remembered how happy I had felt. The way Edward's arms had felt around me. How his kisses had left me gasping for breath. How he then had to recompose himself on the other side of the room. How when he had came back I had commented on how he wouldn't have to worry about that anymore.

He had smiled at that. "Still eager for eternal damnation?" He had said holding back a laugh.

"You bet I am." I had said leaning in to kiss him again but when our lips were almost touching, the phone had rang, ruining the moment.

"Ugh. I'll get that. Hello?"

"Bella? This is Billy." I had heard from the phone.

"Um, hi Billy. Is something wrong?" I had asked. Billy didn't call me much anymore; neither did Jacob for that matter, since he had found out that I was going to get married to Edward.

"No, I was just wondering if you've seen Jacob." He had said.

"Why? Is he missing?" I had asked.

"Well, um… he went out yesterday as a wolf, and Embry & Quil were about to follow him, but Sam told them not to. But when Sam became a wolf again to talk to him, Jacob switched back and no one has heard from him since." Billy had said. "But don't worry, he should turn up soon. I was just wondering." He had said. I knew he had been lying.

"Are you sure? The way you put it, it makes it sound like he should be back by now." I had asked.

"Bella," He had sighed, "I'm not going to lie to you. He should have been back by now, and I'm a little bit worried." He had admitted.

"What do you think made him run off? Did something happen yesterday..." I had wondered. Obviously my brain hadn't been working then. I blame Edward's kisses (or Addison). **(AN: Sorry, inside joke. Basically, me and my friends blame our friend Addison for everything. I have no idea who came up with this or why. But we've been saying it since the beginning of last year. Yeah).**

"Well, today we got your wedding invitation…" he had said carefully.

"My _wedding invitation_?" The words had sounded strange on my lips. "But I didn't send you one. No offense, but I didn't want to cause him any more pain than I already have." I had explained. When that topic had been brought up, Edward had become very tense. He obviously had known something about it.

"I guess Alice sent you one because she thought that I wanted you to be there. Not that I don't, it's just, well, you know… complicated." I had sighed.

"Yes it certainly is." Billy had laughed. "Speaking of complicated, I need to talk to you about the treaty."  
"Well, I'm not sure about that. I think Carlisle would be able to handle this situation better than I could. Besides, I might accidently start some werewolf-vampire war." I had joked although I didn't like where this conversation was going.

"But it's you I want to talk to right now. I think we can figure out something." He had said with a strange tone in his voice.

"OK, I _know _the treaty says that the Cullens can't bite anyone, but if they don't make me a vampire, the Volturi-"

"The _WHAT_?" Billy had said with incredulity.

Obviously Jacob had forgotten to tell him about the royal vampire family in Italy that was going to kill me if I didn't become a vampire. And fast. They had already come during the fight and were probably going to come back sometime at the end of the summer to make sure that Edward had fulfilled his promise.

"The Volturi. They're more or less the vampires that keep all the other vampires under control. Well, they found out that I know _way _too much about the vampires so they said that I either had to become a vampire or they'll kill me." I had explained even though the thought still scared me a little.

"Well this definitely changes things." Bill had muttered. "I don't want to break the treaty, but I can't be responsible for your death. Charlie would be heartbroken. Maybe it would be better if I talked to  
Carlisle about it." He had finally said. He didn't use the derogatory words like "leech, parasite, & bloodsucker" like Jacob does.

"Yeah. I think you're right." I had agreed, taking some of the weight off of my shoulders.

"And Bella?"

"Um, yeah?"

"Jacob left something for you. I gave it to Charlie. Has he given it to you yet?" he had asked.

"Um, no. He hasn't. We kind of had other things to talk about this evening. But  
I'll get it from him. Thanks." I had replied.

"No problem. And Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks for trying to do the right thing."

"Oh." I had been really surprised by this. "Thanks. That means a lot coming from you."

"Bye Bella."

"That was interesting." I had said once hanging the phone up.

"Yes it was." Edward had commented indifferently.

"Is there something you aren't telling me?"

"About what?" he had said innocently.

"You most certainly know what." I had sighed exasperated. "About one of our _wedding_," the word still burned acid in my mouth," invitation that somehow got to Jacob. Was this Alice or…?"

All expression left his face.

"You didn't!" I had accused. "How could you?"

"Didn't Jacob leave you something?"

"Don't' change the subject, and once I'm done reading it I'll-"

"What? Unleash a wrath that will put angry grizzly bears to shame?""Well excuse me if I don't have a super long memory, but it'll be worse than grizzly bears. More like, um, some other evil thing."

"Is that the best you can do?" he had said gently standing up face to face. Really it was my face to his chest & his to the air above my head, but same concept.

I had felt his cold breath on me as he had leaned down to kiss my neck.

"Stop," I had gasped, "you know whenever you do that I don't think straight."

"I know. It's quite adorable." He had said leaning in to kiss me. I had smelt his breath then. It had intoxicated me & I had been more or less high in a way. Like how I was his drug; he was mine.

"Do you remember why you wanted to be mad at me now?" he had whispered.

Why was I mad at him again? I couldn't even remember the "ABCs" let alone any intelligent thoughts.

"Hmm?" I had asked.

"Oh Bella." He had said chuckling. Whatever I had said clearly had amused him. _What did I say? _I remember wondering.

Before I had time to catch my breath, he kissed me. It hadn't been like other kisses where he had been tentative at first. He had gone straight to the part that had usually left me gasping for breath. The fact that he didn't have to breath, and therefore able to kiss me as long as he wanted didn't help because that usually left me breathing in and out like a goldfish that got dumped out of the tank and was wiggling around and well, you get my point.

The kiss had been, oh how can you describe something so perfect? It had been like Edward in every way. But the real reason it had been different were the emotions behind it. It felt like he was happy, happier than I had ever seen him, anyway. And he had told me that he was always the happiest when he was with me. I'm not sure if there's such thing as being happier than the happiest anyone has ever been, but if there is, then that's exactly how Edward had probably been.

Then, I had been too intoxicated to think, but now, being "sober," I knew he had been happy because now I was officially his. Not like I wasn't before, but his old-fashioned ideas changed his perspective of things. At least he hadn't asked Charlie before asking me. That would have been horrible.

"You wanted to get something from Charlie?" he had reminded when he was done kissing me.

"Yeah" was all I had been able to manage.

"I'll get it from his coat. He fell asleep. He won't even notice I went up there."

Before I had time to protest, he was gone. I was about to follow him, but I hadn't even taken a step when he was right in front of me.

"Here you go." He had said, handing me the note.

"Did you read it?"

"No, but Charlie read the first line and he was dreaming about it when I was up there."

I eyed him suspiciously.

"Are you going to open it?"

"I'll get to it."

Giving in to his stare I snatched the note from him and unfolded it.

Dear Bella,

I got your "bloodsucker's" _Edward's _letter. I'm leaving so you don't have to be sad when we can't be friends anymore. I also can't be attached to you if something goes wrong. Sorry how it all turned out. I just want you to be happy. Honestly. No one else knows I'm leaving, but they'll figure it out soon. Can you say goodbye to my dad for me? Thanks. For everything. Even though it didn't work out the way I wanted it to.

Your slave for life,

Jacob

"What?" Edward had seen the blood leave my face.

"It's Jacob," I had said, my eyes starting to water, "He's... gone."

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**Also, "bloodsucker's" is in parentheses is supposed to be struck through. They wouldn't let me do it when editing.**

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	3. Muffins

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**Disclaimer: All characters from the most amazing book ever, Twilight, are unfortunately owned by Stephenie Meyer and not me. Any similarities with Breaking Dawn are mere coincidences. I did not copy the manuscript for Breaking Dawn!**

**Author's Note:**

**Chapter Summary: This chapter is just sort of a bit of fluff as Bella forgives Edward and a little (OK! Maybe A LOT) human craziness. And some sarcastic comments, too. Like I said, mainly a fluff chapter, but still important.**

**The song for this chapter is _Do Yo Know the Muffin Man?_ by Mother Goose. Remember the song your Mom or Dad sang to you? "_Do you know the Muffin Man? The Muffin Man? The Muffin Man? Do you know the Muffin Man who lives on Drury Lane?" _Yeah, that one.**

**SPOILERS FOR ANYONE WHO HASN'T READ TWILIGHT, NEW MOON, AND ECLIPSE!!**

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Chapter 3: Muffins

"What?" Edward had said in disbelief.

I guess he hadn't thought that Jacob would've taken it so seriously, but he already knew about the wedding, so why would Jacob be upset about it?

"He's gone…"I had finally said, my eyes starting to water. "He doesn't want to make it hard for me when we can't be friends anymore, but he's making it so much harder for himself. And it's all my fault." I had sobbed.

Edward had put his arms around me. But I had pushed away, upset, angry, confused and had ran up to my room.

I had been so sad last night, I guess Edward had wanted to comfort me.

But last night, it wasn't his arms I wanted to be comforted by. I had needed Jacob to let me know everything was fine. That everything was going to be okay.

But an eclipse and a sun can't both show up at the same time. The eclipse always wins, which was so unfair for me.

Why did they have to make me choose between them? "Well, that's what you get, Bella, for being in love with a vampire and a werewolf who also happen to be mortal enemies,"I thought. I definitely was a magnet for trouble.

I started opening my eyes, deciding not to feel sorry for myself anymore. Besides, I had to let go of Jacob. I don't think Edward could take it if I broke down like that again.

I ended up opening my eyes to a bright flash of light.

"Ugh." I said closing my eyes again quickly. I still saw polka dots embedded in my eyelids.

No wonder Edward was going to call. It was too bright for him to come over "un-detected." Like that was a problem for him.

"Great." I thought to myself. "Can my day get any worse?"

I opened my eyes and quickly closed the blinds. I didn't want to be seeing polka dots the rest of the day.

I started making my bed and sighed when I saw my pillow. Nearly all of it was drenched in my tears.

"Yippee! Edward must think I'm such an emotional freak! Aren't I so lucky?" I thought sarcastically to myself.

I got out of my clothes from the night before and started cleaning my room. After all, I had nothing else to do until Edward called.

When I had gotten my room as clean as I could (that's actually an accomplishment for me), I went downstairs and had some Lucky Charms. After all, I wasn't going to be able to eat them anymore, so I might as well eat what I want.

That revelation gave me an idea and I started making every breakfast food imaginable. I wanted to remember these small moments from being human. And I didn't have to worry about getting fat anymore.

I started my second batch of blueberry muffins when Edward walked in.

"Are we trying to stop world hunger?" he asked startling me.

"Edward!" I screamed, running to hug him. "You scared me! I thought you were going to call."

"I can't show up at my fiancée's house without letting you know?" He said smiling. "And where did this perkiness come from? This morning you didn't even talk to me. Not that I blame you of course."

"No, I just had a lot on my mind. Sorry. And I don't know, I just missed you that's all."

"You still haven't asked my question about all of this food. Are there more people in this house that I don't know about? And that would be really hard to do, seeing as I can hear their thoughts. If there were people here, that is."

"No. I'm not going to tell you. It's embarrassing."

"Come on. When we're _married_, we are going to have to be _honest _with each other."

"Do you have to use reverse psychology on me? And can you please stop saying things like that? It's really annoying. And besides I already tell you everything."

"Fine. If you tell me the reason for all of this food."

I sighed in defeat. "Fine. I wanted to remember what all my favorite foods taste like before I stop liking them."

He was laughing! "You're about to lose your mortality, and you're worried about not remembering what food tastes like?" He said while trying to hold back his laughter.

"Hey! It's not funny! I've lived like this my entire life. I'm about to change nearly everything about me to be with you. So I should be allowed to do what I want without comment or laughter from you. And I want to hold on to anything that reminds me of my old life. And a lot of memories come from food. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween-"

"OK! I get it! Calm down! Goodness! I didn't need a lecture on the relationship between food and memories. Listening to Mr. Varner's lectures through other students in your Calculus class was bad enough. But I still think it's funny how you want to remember blueberry muffins." He said picking one up, even though they just came out of the oven.

"Ok. Let's forget about the food conversation." I grumbled.

"Very well." Edward replied.

There was an awkward silence as I ate another blueberry muffin.

"Um, Bella." Edward started.

"Hmmm?" I said while eating another muffin.

"Well… look…"

"If you want me to stop eating, just tell me." I joked.

"Well, I do." He laughed. "I don't want you to get overweight or something. According to Health class that's really bad for humans, but that's beside the point."

Whenever he got serious like this I knew he was going to start one of his lectures. I'd take Mr. Varner any day. Edward always had emotions and real feelings behind his which always made it worse.

"What I mean is that if what I did hurt you, I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking and what was foolish of me. I should have respected your wishes. I should have-"

"OK. You're forgiven." I said as if it was really hard for me to do. I didn't want to torture him more than needed. "What's done is done. You're my life now. You're what matters, not Jacob. And Jacob still would've left because he's full of pigheadedness."

"So you don't care about Jacob anymore?" he asked in disbelief with his rare quizzical look on his face.

"No." I lied.

"You're lying."

He caught me. Of course.

"OK. Fine, but trust me, I'll get over him." I said.

"If you say so." He sat down and waited for me to eat the rest of the muffins or barf. Whichever one came first.

"I know so." I said leaving the barf-causing muffins for another human memory I didn't want to forget.

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****A****uthor's Note: I'm sorry for all of the strangeness and weirdness in this chapter! I haven't read it since I posted it back in November (I think). It gets better! Trust me! I have no idea what came over me when I wrote this so I'm sorry you have to read this.**

**AND REVIEW PLEASE!!**

**Love ya! PiercingGoldenEyes**


	4. New Bella

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**Disclaimer: All characters from the most amazing book ever, Twilight, are unfortunately owned by Stephenie Meyer and not me. Any similarities with Breaking Dawn are mere coincidences. I did not copy the manuscript for Breaking Dawn!**

**Author's Note:**

**Chapter Summary: Another fluff chapter showing that Edward makes mistakes, too. Yeah, that's pretty much all that happens.**

**The Song for this Chapter is _As I Am _by Miley Cyrus.**

**SPOILERS FOR ANYONE WHO HASN'T READ TWILIGHT, NEW MOON, AND ECLIPSE!!**

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Chapter 4: New Bella

Edward and I were perfectly content to just be together on my couch. After all, if we went to his house, Alice would bombard me with questions about my wedding, there was no longer the threat of Victoria, and school was over. So what else was there to do?

We couldn't escape Alice for long. Once she realized that we had no intention to go to her house she called me. It ended up only taking her half an hour.

"What is this nonsense about staying home all day?" Alice scolded when I picked up the phone. "There are a _million_ details we need to go over before August!" she then exclaimed.

"Ok. Calm down Alice. If you want me to, I'll come over and help you. All you have to do is ask." I comforted while thinking '_Even thought I REALLY don't want to.'_

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! Really, all I need you to do is OK some things, and then you can go to whatever you want." Yeah, it would really be that simple.

"OK, Alice." I sighed and hung up. I turned back to Edward who seemed to have not been paying attention while I had been on the phone. "It seems as if our plans for today are canceled."

"Oh are they now?" he asked mischievously coming over to stand next to me. "And who says so?" he asked, breathing in my face.

"Um, Alice. And she needed me for planning purposes." I stuttered. "And can you stop getting so close to my neck? It's starting to become a touchy area." I said, slowly leaning away.

"Are you reconsidering your choice?" he asked playfully.

"NO!" I screamed. He looked at me with a startled look on his face. "Sorry. But no. I'm not reconsidering. I will NEVER reconsider."

"I'm not so sure of that." Edward muttered to himself, but still loud enough for my weak ears to pick it up.

"No. It's just that now I actually realize what I'm giving up. I just don't want to lose it all so soon. I mean what? After our wedding am I going to just leave everyone forever? I know I'll have to leave eventually. But, if I stay too long, then Charlie and Renée are going to notice the changes. My red eyes for example. And how I don't seem to be getting any older.

I mean you, Esme, Alice, and Carlisle didn't have anyone. And with Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett, everyone thought they disappeared anyhow. And if I disappear, you'll have to, too. And it's too confusing." I sat down on the couch and sighed.

"Wow. And I thought _I_ over thought things. That's way too much to be going on in one mind at a time." He smiled.

"Yeah, but you have multiple people in your mind at once." I shot back as he sat down next to me.

"Bella," he finally said after a while. "We'll deal with it as it goes along. I don't expect you to just give up your family or me. Of course you'll still see them, for a few years, but..."

"But?"

"But, after a while they'll notice you aren't changing, and you can't see them immediately. You might kill them."

I shuddered. Even after all I had done to try to everyone around me that I cared about, the thought that _I _might be the one to put them in danger.

"Well, we shouldn't keep Alice waiting." He said, changing the subject.

I thanked him silently. I didn't want to think about the conversation from before.

I grabbed a jacket as I walked out. It was still as cold as it was the day of the fight. Ugh, I thought in distaste as I thought of what had ended up happening that night.

Edward and I then walked out to my truck, and Edward held the door open for me.

Once we had started driving, Edward asked, "Are you SURE you don't want me to buy you a new car? Pretty soon you're going to want something faster. A lot faster."

"Sure, it can be your wedding present to me." I joked.

"OK, one second you don't like the thought of getting married, and the next you do. Can you ever be happy?" he teased, smiling my crooked smile.

"OK. Fine. I'm happy about us getting married. The hardest part is over anyway."

"Really? Hmmm. I would've thought the hardest part was trying to not pass out when you have to kiss me at the altar." He teased again. I guess he was trying to make up for the Jacob thing. And really, I still loved Jacob, but I knew I could live without him. Edward… was a different story. A painful story. One I didn't want to think about ever again. It was almost as bad as seeing Edward withering on the floor from the illusion Jane had put in his head.

"Well, then you're going to have to work on being a worse kisser before the wedding." I teased back.

"Oh, Bella." He said laughing, truer than he had in a while.

"What? You can control your lips, but I can't control my consciousness."

He just kept laughing.

"OK. I don't think I was _that_ funny."

It just made him laugh more.

"Is this some inside joke between you and Alice? See what you can do to make Bella go paranoid?" I teased, seeing how far I could push my luck.

"Bella, if I didn't have to breathe, I would say that 'I couldn't breathe.'" he said through hysterics. "Really? Does the new Bella have a sense of humor?"

It seemed that right after he said that, he regretted it.

"New Bella?" I asked. I couldn't read minds, but I was pretty sure that he meant the Bella that didn't care about Jacob.

"Why does the one time I don't think have to be now?" he asked to no one in particular. He was obviously mad at himself.

"No. It's OK. I know what you meant. And we can't be perfect all the time can we?" I teased some more.

He smiled my crooked smile again, and I could feel butterflies in my stomach. Or maybe it was just those muffins.

I didn't have time to think about it anyway because just then we pulled up to his house.

He came out in a flash and opened the door for me. He had a frown on his face, and his eyebrows were knit together. It was a different expression from the carefree one he had had before.

"Are you _sure_ you want to do this?" he hinted.

"It's now or never." I shrugged.

"You won't say that after today. She's going to make Victoria seem tame." He said, enjoying the frightened expression on my face.

I gulped.

He chuckled and led me up to the door.

* * *

**Author's Note: If you think anything is strange in my story AT ALL, please tell me! Whether it be grammar, the way Edward acts, or whatever, please tell me! I'm trying to write as much like Stephenie as possible. I realize this is impossible, but I'm trying to get as close as I can! Thanks for everyone's support!**

**And REVIEW!!**

**PiercingGoldenEyes**


	5. Plans & Problems

****

**Disclaimer: All characters from the most amazing book ever, Twilight, are unfortunately owned by Stephenie Meyer and not me. Any similarities with Breaking Dawn are mere coincidences. I did not copy the manuscript for Breaking Dawn!**

**Author's Note:**

**Chapter Summary: Bella is forced to take care of wedding plans with Alice and she tells Angela about her getting married. We also get to see another side of Angela. I think this chapter is when my writing skills actually start to improve. Maybe, I don't know. You tell me. All you have to do is press a button, type a bit, and press another button. How simple is that?**

**The Song for this Chapter is _The Time of My Life _by David Cook.**

**SPOILERS FOR ANYONE WHO HASN'T READ TWILIGHT, NEW MOON, AND ECLIPSE!!**

* * *

Chapter 5: Plans and Problems

It was worse than I imagined. Flowers were everywhere. Different colored cloth. Cakes of all shapes and sizes. All of the furniture was gone from the first floor to make room for everything.

My mouth hung open. "You didn't tell me it was _this_ bad." I accused.

"I wanted you to see it for yourself." He chuckled. "And besides, there are no words in the world to describe it."

Just then, Alice came out from behind the big jungle of flowers.

"Oh, thank goodness you're here! No one else will help me plan, and I don't know what you want!" Yeah, like she couldn't do it herself.

"I can see why." Edward laughed.

She glared at him which just made him laugh more. He seemed so carefree ever since Victoria died, well, was murdered by him before my very eyes.

"Alice! What have you done? I thought I asked you to keep it _simple_?" I exclaimed although simple could never be enough for her.

"Oh, these are just samples. I'm not going to use _all_ of these."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. Either Alice ignored me or didn't see because then she brought over the cakes and made me start sampling them.

"I can't taste it, so I thought it would be better if you do." Was her excuse.

I finally decided on the vanilla cake with butter cream icing (it was hard to eat after all of those muffins), so we moved on to the flowers. Alice would later go into details based on the "theme" I picked. I was really starting to hate the planning (and Alice) even more. If not for Edward, I wouldn't have gone along with this. And Alice too, but mainly Edward.

Actually, if not for Alice, I wouldn't have to be doing all of this right now. I brooded on that for a while, until I remembered that I had decided on this to make everyone happy. And I was stuck eating cake and being overwhelmed by the smell of flowers because of it. Great for me.

"First, where do you want to have the wedding?" Alice interrupted my thoughts. "We're going to have to take into account how many people you want to invite.

"I'm fine with jus Renée, Phil, Charlie, and your family." "I said warily.

"Oh, come on Bella! What's the fun in planning for ten people?! Fine." She said after seeing my tired look. "Just write a list of all of the family and friends you want to invite, and I'll torture Edward at home to make his list." She smiled mischievously.

I laughed openly at Alice's threat and Edward's worried expression.

Alice laughed too and said, "Edward, I'm not going to make you do it now! Besides, I don't need you anymore so go find Emmett or Jasper or something." She said dismissively, turning her attention back to the wedding plans.

Before he left, Edward hugged me and whispered, "If she starts torturing you, you know how to call '911', right?"

I chuckled and said "I'm in a house full of vampires. I think I'll be safe from one obsessed wedding planner."

"You really are funnier." He said before leaving me to Alice.

I sighed and said "Let's get this over with."

"That's the spirit!" she said sarcastically.

After a _very _long discussion about whether there should be any be any pink(we made a compromise, only pink flowers but not ALL pink and part of the cake), she moved to bridesmaids and groomsmen.

We decided that Alice, Rosalie, and Angela could be bridesmaids, with Alice being the Maid of Honor, of course, and Emmett, Jasper, and my cousin Stephen as the groomsmen with Emmett being the best man.

Then, after we looked through endless magazines and sketch designs, Alice and I finally decided on the style of the bridesmaids dresses. They were to be strapless, but with a back, and a small train (unlike the one on the dress Alice picked out for me) in a deep red. We thought it would be funny if the dresses were the color of blood.

After finalizing what we had talked about, I was _finally_ able to go home. I would have to remember to call Angela to ask her to be one of my bridesmaids. Ugh, that reminded me that I also had to write a list of who I wanted to invite.

Seeing my discontent, Edward tried to lift my mood by saying "At least you don't have to _live _with her. She keeps bugging us to give her advice and out input." He groaned at something I had probably missed when he had gone home that morning to change. "That's why I'll be spending more time over at your house to get away from her."

"Oh, is wittle Eddie afwaid of big, old Alice?" I said in a baby voice.

"She is pretty intimidating." 'Eddie' laughed.

"Yes, when you get home she's going to attack you with wedding cakes, flowers, and cloth samples." I teased some more. I loved the sound of his ringing laugh.

Once he was able to calm himself, he said "So, now what are our plans?"

I looked at the clock and was amazed at how quickly time went by. I t was nearly time for Charlie to be home.

"Um, I need to cook dinner for Charlie, and I don't know if it's the best idea if you guys saw each other right away…" Not that it was the best idea for me to see him right now either.

"OK." He said agreeing with me. There's something to be said for no vampires (bad ones anyway) crawling around Forks. "Let me out here, and I'll meet you in your room."

"Are you sure? I don't feel right leaving you on the side of the road." I also didn't want to miss any time with him, but I didn't want to admit it. I needed to stop being so attached to him seeing as I would spend eternity with him. You think that would make me less needy and clingy, but no, it made me want to be with him more. I always knew my brain was messed up.

"Yeah, and I'll still beat you back." He smiled.

"Fine," I said exasperated. My plan for keeping him with me didn't work.

I pulled my ancient truck over and let him out. Not after he leaned over and kissed me, making me intoxicated again.

It wasn't like his careful ones, but it wasn't like his forceful or carefree ones. It was… something new. Something I had never felt before. It was better than any kiss I had ever had before. I started to remember the "Jacob kisses" and nearly cringed. "NO! I'm NOT thinking about that right now," I said to myself.

Edward noticed my hesitancy and pulled away. "Are you okay?" he asked caringly.

"Uh huh… You're just a better kisser, that's all." I mumbled.

"I'm sorry. Would you like me to kiss worse?" he joked, taking my sadness as confusion.

"Huh?" Was all I was able to scrape up without sounding like a TOTAL idiot (or let my true feelings show).

"That's what I thought." He smiled, and the next second, he was gone.

It took me a while to put myself back together and to restart my heart. I started driving again and debated whether to tell Angela face to face about me getting married or not. Probably in person. I owed that much to her. However, inviting Angela probably meant inviting Jessica. I so did not look forward to that conversation. And inviting Jessica meant inviting all of my other high school friends. Ugh. And then I'd have to invite their families. I was really starting to hate this. But if I didn't invite them, Alice would find some way to invite them. I couldn't wait to beat her up once I was a vampire.

I pulled up to Angela's house and sighed. Here goes nothing. She probably wouldn't spread it all over town like Jessica would, so it shouldn't be so bad.

I walked up to the house and rang the doorbell.

Mrs. Weber answered the door.

"Hi, Mrs. Weber. Is Angela here?"

"Sure, Bella. Hold on a second." She said walking up the steps.

Unsure if I was supposed to come in or not, I just stood awkwardly on the steps.

But Mrs. Weber came back and said "She'll be right down, Bella. Why don't you come in?"

"Thanks Mrs. Weber." I replied. She then walked into the kitchen and left me alone. She and her daughter were so much alike that way. I knew I automatically like Mrs. Weber.

Just then, Angela came bounding down the steps with wet hair and just thrown on jeans and a sweat shirt.

"Hey Angela! I'm good. Sorry if I interrupted you." Referring to her wet hair.

"No, it's fine. So what've you been up to since graduation?" she asked conversationally.

"Not much. Mainly slept in and hung out with Edward. You know."  
I was surprised she hadn't noticed yet.

"Yeah. I'm happy we can sleep more. I've also been on a couple of dates with Ben."

"Oh? How did that go?" I asked. I wanted to procrastinate my announcement for as long as possible.

"It was fun. We went to go see this movie in Port Angeles and we ate at this new Mexican restaurant there. It was pretty good." She replied, twirling her still damp hair around her finger.

"Which movie? Anything I'd want to see?" I urged her on. Not that she would know what I liked. We didn't really talk as much, ever since- well, ever.

"I think it was called 'Forbidden Love.' It was this love movie about a girl who's in love with this monster, but they can't be together because he might kill her, and everyone else disapproves of them. It was actually pretty romantic, and there wasn't too much violence. You might like it."

It sounded too much like the story of my life. I already knew what was going to happen, but there was no reason to be rude.

"Thanks Angela. I'll have to go drag Edward to go see it now." I replied.

"Tell Edward 'you're welcome' for me." She laughed

"I'll get him to tell you himself."

There was an awkward silence until I gathered up enough courage to say, "Can I talk to you alone?"

"Sure," she said looking at me strangely.

Was it way too obvious that I was scared? Man, I'm such a coward.

"Let's go up to my room" she continued.

I followed her up the stairs where pictures of herself and her family hung.

Her life was so… normal. It's strange how my life used to be like that. No worries of mythical creatures coming to attack me. But that's what you get for finding true love.

It made me realize how much I was giving up. What I'd already given up. I realized that if Angela's blood had smelt better, we would've been in _my_ house, and she would've been telling _me_ that she was about to get married. It's strange how one thing, one tiny, insignificant, little thing, can change your life forever.

Not that Edward was insignificant or something. I could never think that. Probably my move to Forks was the thing that clearly changed my life for the better. However, I didn't realize it at that time.

By then, we had already reached Angela's room, and we went inside, snapping me back to reality.

Her room was pretty much the same since the last time I had been there a couple weeks ago. Except now it wasn't full of envelopes needing to be addressed. Just thinking about it made my hand hurt. I'll probably get carpal tunnel or something from it.

Angela then sat down on her bed and looked at me. "So, what do you want to talk about?"

I gulped. "Um, it's kinda complicated." Coward, Coward, Coward.

"Well, do you want to talk about it?" Angela offered.

"There's no easy way to say it… so I'll just come out and tell you. It's now or never." I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply.

Meanwhile, Angela sat on her bed listening attentively.

"OK, I'm getting married to Edward this summer and I want you to be a bridesmaid." I said in a rush.

Whew, that was over. All that was left now was her reaction.

I looked up slowly and saw her expression was a mix between shock and excitement.

"Oh my gosh! That's great I'm so happy for you!" she exclaimed, getting up to give me a hug. I guess she didn't find it shocking that I was getting married right after high school. Or she was just good at hiding her feelings.

"Really? You don't think it's a little weird?" I asked. "Please be honest with me."

"Well, it's a bit sudden, but there's nothing wrong with it. If Ben proposed to me, I'd say yes in a heartbeat." She replied.

"You would?" I asked, shocked. I obviously knew nothing about how close she and Ben really were. Then again, she had no idea how close Edward and I really were.

"Yeah, right now, he's perfect for me. But I don't know. He may not be what I want in 5 years, 10 years, you know?" She said with a strange look on her face? Thoughtfulness? Anguish? She looked conflicted yet calm. "And who knows if I'll meet someone at college?" interrupting my train of thought.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" I asked, trying to keep my voice casual.

"What do you think I'm saying?" she taunted, the look gone from her face as soon as it had come.

"I don't want to butt in," I said hesitantly, "but it sort of sounded like you're planning on breaking up with Ben."

Her face once again had that strange look plastered on her face. "I don't want to talk about it." she said looking away from me. Where those _tears_ I saw at the corner of her eye?

"Oh, OK. But if you ever want to talk, I'm here." I said feeling hurt.

"I don't want to talk about it!" she replied a little too quickly and loudly.

Her words cut me like a sword. What happened to the calm, nice Angela who had been sitting in front of me minutes before?

"O-ok." I stuttered. "Well, I'll call you later to tell you more details." I choked out.

"Fine." She said grumpily.

I looked behind me seeing if she would call me back and confess what was wrong or say she was sorry, or… something. Instead, she just sat staring out her window, obviously waiting for me to leave before she broke down and sobbed.

Sighing, I opened the door, closed it behind me and went down the stairs.

Angela seemed to have as many issues as I once had. Okay, so she didn't have angry vampires trying to kill her or her love of her existence about to commit suicide, but she had her own issues in her own way. I would have to think of a way to try and help her, I thought as I said goodbye to Mrs. Weber and walked out the door, but right now, I have my own future to take care of.


	6. Dream

****

**Disclaimer: All characters from the most amazing book ever, Twilight, are unfortunately owned by Stephenie Meyer and not me. Any similarities with Breaking Dawn are mere coincidences. I did not copy the manuscript for Breaking Dawn!**

**Author's Note:**

**Chapter Summary: Basically, Bella's having a dream as you can tell by the chapter title. Can't tell more, or I'd give it away.**

**The Song for this Chapter is _What's Wrong with Him _by The Bella Cullen Project. **

**If you want to check out this awesome Twilight-inspired Band, click on the link to their Myspace on my Profile. **

**I realize it's a short chapter. Sorry, but yet another "Fluff" chapter. WAIT!! There are no "fluff" chapters. Every chapter is written for a reason, you may not get it now, but trust me, they are ALL important. AND REVIEW PLEASE!**

**SPOILERS FOR ANYONE WHO HASN'T READ TWILIGHT, NEW MOON, AND ECLIPSE!!**

* * *

Chapter 6: Dream

The music starts playing the way too familiar song. Charlie squeezes my hand. I smile up at him reassuringly. The doors open. The long line of people in front of me starts walking. It's our turn next, I'm anxious, yet exited. Nervous, yet calm. But most of all, I'm happy. After the past 2 torturous months, it's finally happening. The moment I've been waiting for about, well, since I first met him. Well, more of like when he told me about Rosalie and Emmett.

It's our turn now. Everyone's staring at me. Smiling, crying, sighing. Ugh, they're making me sick.

But then I see him, perfect, standing there in his black suit. I see only him as I float towards him, blocking out everything else.

But then something starts to happen. Everything goes black. Alice will be mad that the power went out.

She wanted everything to be perfect. Unfortunately she didn't get her wish.

Then everything started to change. There was no light at all despite the fact that it was only noon. It was raining but still… It was so unnatural.

All of a sudden, someone grabbed me and said, "Don't do this to me Bella. Don't do this." I hadn't heard that voice in nearly 2 months, but it sounded like I'd known it my entire life. I didn't need any light to know who was talking to me.

"Bella, listen to me. You are free to choose. Don't choose him. Choose me." He pleaded.

"So, who do you pick?" an even more familiar voice whispered ominously into my ear, and with a start, I woke up breathing heavily.

"It was just a dream." I tell myself repeatedly, my heart rate steadily slowing down.

I'm not getting married today. The lights won't go out. And no matter how much I wish, I'm never seeing Jacob again. And I'm never getting a second chance at my choice. No matter how much I want to see him, he's run away. And he's never running back.

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**And Review Please!!**


	7. Tears

**Author's Note:**

**Taking WordNazi's advice, I'm going to start putting summaries at the beginning of each chapter. So… **

**Chapter Summary: As you may recall, in the last chapter (Chp. 6 Dream) Bella just woke up from a nightmare about her wedding. She is unsure of whether or not to tell Edward because she doesn't want to worry him. Plus she promised him she would forget about Jacob (Chp. 3 Muffins). So they argue a bit. Then, Bella has a little talk with Charlie and we get to see his softer side for a little bit. That's basically all that happens. This is mainly a transition chapter and I just wanted to post something. There will definitely be a lot more interesting things in my next chapter, Responsibility (tentative name). **

**Also, an update on my story. I am really only planning on having a few more chapters. Maybe 6 more or so. Then, my sequel to this story! I have a few ideas for names and the 1****st**** chapter of it written. I'm going to have a contest and I want people to start looking for their favorite quote from my story. The deadline will be announced once this story is over. And then I want you to make an icon of it and upload it on a photobucket account, put it on your website, or somewhere on the Internet and then send me a link of it. You have a limit of 5 icons. Then I will pick my top 3 and then those 3 people will be the 1****st**** to read the 1****st**** chapter of my sequel (after my beta of course, potter.vs.cullen, I heart you so much!). More details concerning the contest to be revealed in another Author's Note. So get working on those icons! Thanks so much for reading my stories! You guys are what keeps me writing. I owe you so much. **

**The Song for this Chapter is _What Hurts the Most_ by Rascal Flatts.**

**PiercingGoldenEyes**

**SPOILERS FOR ANYONE WHO HASN'T READ TWILIGHT, NEW MOON, AND ECLIPSE!!**

* * *

Chapter 7: Tears

"Are you okay?" Edward asked when I woke up from my nightmare. What's wrong he questioned, pulling me into his ice-cold embrace.

I decided to lie; it was safer.

"Sorry, I just had a nightmare that Victoria was still alive." I told him.

It seemed that along with being funnier and crazier, I also was better at lying. Or so I thought.

"We have to be honest with each other." Edward sighed. "Even though it is quite obvious when you lie." He said, smirking at this part. "If you don't want to tell me, that's fine. It's better than lying to my face. OK?" he pleaded with me, looking straight at me with his liquid topaz eyes.

I sighed and gave up. His eyes were too scorching. "Okay, I'm sorry. I just had a nightmare about our wedding."

"Really? I didn't realize you were still that against the idea." Edward laughed, breaking eye contact.

"With Alice planning, it _will _be a nightmare." I groaned.

"OK, never mind about Alice and her obsession right now, what was the nightmare about?" he asked, suddenly serious. I could never get over his sudden mood swings.

I didn't know if I wanted to tell him or not. I mean, if I wanted him to be honest with me, I should tell the truth, too. But, I couldn't tell him about _this_ because that would completely break my promise about forgetting Jacob. I decided to go with the safer response once more.

"I don't want to talk about it." I mumbled.

"See? How hard was that?" Edward teased.

"Extremely." I grumbled after seeing that my clock only read seven in the morning. "Ugh, is it really this early? I'm still tired from those training practices you dragged me to."

"It's only early to you, Bella. And really?" he smirked. "Maybe my memory isn't as yours," he smiled showing his dazzling white teeth, "but I seem to recall that you begged to come along and were then utterly bored with it. Please correct me if I am wrong." He said smiling bigger.

I don't know why, but for some reason he liked messing with me. Well, two can play at that game. Besides, who said I was funnier?

"Yeah, but you're so masochistic I had to beg you to stay with me because all you care about it fighting." I shot back.

"Don't ever say that." He murmured just audible for my weak human ears to hear it. "I care about more than just that."

Edward then twisted me around so our faces were inches apart.

"Like what?" I whispered, my heart rate seeping up rapidly.

"This." he murmured, leaning in to kiss me.

But when our lips were an inch away, I was suddenly holding on to nothing and kissing thin air.

Charlie came in a second later, but not before I went crazy trying to figure out why Edward left me-- It took all the will I had not to say "again."

"Bella, what are you doing?" Charlie asked and I realized that I was still kissing thin air.

"Nothing." I replied, dazed.

"Well, I didn't realize you were up. I though you would want to sleep in, seeing as it's summer and all." He smiled, trying to joke around. His emotions had been so forced with me ever since, if I was being honest to myself, since 2 nights ago.

"I guess I just wasn't that tired, Dad." I said, hoping to console him. Like I would really tell him that I was having nightmares again? Yeah, I don't think so.

"Hey." Charlie said coming over to plop down on my bed. I t was funny comparing him to my last visitor to my room. "I noticed you were kind of awkward and nervous last night. Is everything okay between you and Edward? Because I realize your relationship has probably changed now that you're engaged and I just wanted you know if you changed your mind because it's perfectly fine if you want to wait a while." He said letting out a big breath after his verbose speech. It was almost as long as the speech he gave me about the Cullen's on my eventful 1st day of school here.

How long ago that seemed, even though it was barely a year and a half ago, and how different my feelings were then. Well, then again, anyone would be paranoid too if a vampire took a certain "disliking" to them.

"Dad, everything's fine. I just kinda felt uncomfortable with you because you had been so against the whole marriage plan. I'm sorry." I admitted. How was I able to be so truthful with Charlie and not with _Edward_?

"You thought I was against this?" Charlie said, getting emotional. "Honey, I just want you to be happy." Tears now swelling up in the corner of his crinkly eyes.

"Sad, don't cry." I said, moving over next to him to put my arms around his SHOULDERS.

Charlie was just as bad, if not worse, as me with trying to show emotion. So when he broke down, he _really _broke down.

"I'm sorry Bella. But that just makes me feel like the bad guy in this situation. That's something new to me. I've always been the one to make a difference, but never a bad one. I can't believe I was stupid enough to make you feel like I disapproved. I should've trusted your judgment and just let you make your own decisions. After all, someone who can keep Renée under control and cook the most amazing dinners I've ever had must be a very responsible adult." He said, smiling at the last part.

"Oh, Dad." Now it was _my_ turn to cry. "I'm sorry for anything I might've done to make you think you couldn't trust me." And I'd done a lot of things. Jumping off cliffs, riding motorcycles … hanging out with vampires and werewolves… But Charlie needed to know how responsible I was. I had to make it up to him for all those times I had made him worry and not trust me.

That was yet another reason for the whole elaborate scheme to let Alice plan my wedding. Then again no responsible, or sane for that matter, person would consent to letting an obsessed vampire plan their wedding to another vampire (ironic, huh?).

"Bella, you were a kid then." He replied, referring to my not so smart choices. "You didn't know better. It's okay." Charlie continued, hugging me.

"But, Dad, I'm not. That's the problem. Everyone treats us like kids and takes care of us in exchange for no freedom. Nut we're not." I started yet another rant of mine on how our country's society is crumbling.

"Bella, what do you mean when you say 'us'?"

"Basically everyone under 18, and even some over that. But we need to learn responsibility. That's the problem with my generation. That's why--." Holy crow, I almost started to say that's why the Cullens don't cause any problems. Well, not any _human_ problems at least.

Charlie suddenly glanced at his watch and sighed. "Look, Bella. I'm sorry. I'd love to stay and discuss the problems of the world with you, but the guys at the station are probably wondering if I got run over or something."

"OK. I understand. It was nice talking with you. Go ahead and leave before they start looking for the guy that 'killed' you and put him in prison." I said wiping away my tears and trying to show a mask of bravado for Charlie. For Renée. For Edward. For everyone I've tried to please, while I've felt like I was about to die inside.


	8. Responsibility

****

Disclaimer: All characters from the most amazing book ever,

**Twilight****, are unfortunately owned by Stephenie Meyer and not me. Any similarities with Breaking Dawn are mere coincidences. I did not copy the manuscript for ****Breaking Dawn****!**

**Author's Note:**

**Chapter Summary This may actually be the most important chapter in my story so far. So, basically, Bella has been thinking about Jacob A LOT, so she goes to propose a plan to Alice. A plan that will forever change her…**

**Also, I'm going to start having a song that inspired me for each chapter. For this one, it would easily be Clair de Lune by Debussy. I just bought it off of iTunes and have listened to it non-stop. So, if I were you, which unfortunately I am not because I am stuck being dumb, old me, I would listen to Clair de Lune while reading it. It'll get you more ****in the mood of which I was writing it in. Just a suggestion though.**

**OH! I also will ONLY be updating this story with new chapters on Saturdays(or Sundays, whenever I have time!), so check back each Saturday(or Sunday!) to see if I posted anything!**

**SPOILERS FOR ANYONE WHO HASN'T READ TWILIGHT, NEW MOON, AND ECLIPSE!!**

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Chapter 8: Responsibility

xXxFive Weeks LaterxXx

Just 35 short days later and suddenly everything was upon us. Next week, the guests were going to arrive. The cake was almost done. People had been scurrying in and out of the Cullen's house for who knows how long. Alice was so stressed out, she didn't even pretend to sleep; she worked all night long, stopping only to hunt or to ask me a last minute question she hadn't gotten to ask in one of our planning sessions.

The entire town was bussing about my wedding as well. It seemed as if my wedding would be the highlight of the summer, although no one really thought it was a good idea.

Actually, the only person who wasn't completely into my wedding was, well, me.

I _knew_ that in only 2 weeks I would be in every way possible Edward's. And soon after that we would spend eternity together. But for some reason, I just couldn't bring myself to be completely happy.

I was euphoric. I truly was, just not as much as I could've been. It was a good thing Alice was so busy all the time or she'd be wondering why I was so upset when I was by myself.

For some reason, I couldn't stop thinking about Jacob. "What was he doing now? Did he hate me? Did he ever think of me?" and countless others constantly flooded my conscience daily.

He had yet to be found, and Billy's excuse to all who weren't "in the know" was that he was visiting Rebecca in Hawaii.

I had been worrying constantly about him, calling Billy when Edward wasn't at my house to find out if he knew anything more about Jacob(supposedly he was near Alaska by now), pacing back and forth constantly when I talked.

I told Edward it was just nerves, but I knew he could see right through me.

I hated hurting him almost as much, if not more, than I did hurting Jacob. Why couldn't I just wake up one morning and forget all about Jacob? Not that I wanted to, but if it stopped hurting Edward, then sign me up.

I knew I couldn't live without Edward, so why was I reconsidering my choice?

So with these considerations and many, many more tugging at my mind, I arrived at the Cullen's house in my truck (although Edward was still pushing the car issue).

Surprisingly enough, Edward wasn't with me. For one of the very few times, I drove to his house by myself. I could only recall one time before…

Besides, Edward was hunting with Emmett, Carlisle, Rosalie… basically everyone except Alice, and that was just who I happened to need to talk to.

The idea had been sifting through my head for a while now. At first, I had instantly rejected the idea and deemed it as "crazy, insane, ludicrous, and fatuous" to name a few.

But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. How else would I be able to have my conscience clear, make Edward happy, have closure, and not have Alice worry about me?

And so there I was standing on the Cullen's front porch debating whether to follow through with my plan or not.

I decided to go in before Alice noticed I was there; although she didn't notice much these days.

I hesitantly walked up to the front door and knocked. I wasn't quite sure on the protocol of going over to your vampire fiancée's house when he's out hunting animals in order to drink their blood and you need to talk to his sister, who also happens to be your wedding planner, about something completely forbidden.

So instead of screwing up, I merely knocked as if I was going to anyone else's house. Although, this definitely wasn't just _anyone's _house. Its size, location, and design gave credence to that. Plus the fact that no one in this house neither slept nor ate.

My little reflection was quickly interrupted by Alice arriving at the door.

Thinking I was a delivery person, she tersely told me, "Just put them over there." gesturing to the living room, "What do I need to sign?" she inquired, quite distracted.

"Umm, Alice? When did I start working for UPS?" I said, trying to get her back on this planet. Or in this galaxy for the very least.

"Oh, Bella! I'm so sorry! I didn't realize it was you!" She said pulling me into a tight embrace. "I've just been so busy, and I wasn't expecting you until later." She said her words practically tumbling out of her mouth before her lips could catch up.

There was something wrong with her words; I just couldn't figure out what it was.

I interrupted her finally. "Alice! It's fine, OK? Just chill. That shouldn't be too hard for you." I said smiling at my lame attempt at a joke. Well, at least I thought it was funny. Alice obviously didn't agree with me.

"Oh, thanks. Make fun of the cold-blood, I get it." she said pulling herself off of me."But if it wasn't for your wedding, I wouldn't be this stressed out." She pouted.

"Alice." I sighed. "I never forced you to plan my wedding. For some strange, psychotic reason you seem to enjoy completely embarrassing people by putting them in the spotlight at awkward social functions."

"Well, you were the one that gave in and let me." Alice shot back.

"Because you act like a 2-year-old when you don't get your way. Plus, you are very good at convincing people."I was quite exasperated now. I needed to get back to what I came here for.

"Well, you act like a 2-year-old all the time."

"You know what? Let's both stop acting like 2-year-olds and be the mature 107-year-old vampire **(AN: Based off date on Twilight Lexicon's Timeline) **and the 18-year-old human that we are."

"Fine. There's something you want to ask me?"

I was stunned. "Umm, how do you know this Alice?" I asked tentatively. Was there something in my expression that gave me away?

"Just because I happen to be consumed with your wedding, doesn't mean I don't see things, Bella." She said in a somewhat hurt voice. Then, as if the previous conversation hadn't happened, pirouetting and dancing, she made her way to the living room."Come, we might as well be comfortable while we talk about it." she said, daintily seating herself on the off-white couch that perfectly matched the walls. I opted for the chair instead when she patted the seat beside her, indicating for me to sit there. I didn't want to be too close when I explained my plan to her.

"OK then. What's going on Bella?"

"I thought you knew." I responded innocently, avoiding her compelling gaze.

"I only realized you needed to talk to me. I don't know what it is, though." Alice said in a put-out kind of time.

"Well, I'm sorry. I just thought-"

"You thought wrong!" Alice exclaimed, sinking back into the couch. I couldn't help but notice that even in a slouched position, she had wonderful posture.

I looked tentatively at her. "Alice, is everything all right? Maybe we could take a break and," I would regret this later I thought to myself, "go shopping or something." I held my breath, waiting for her reaction.

Consequentially, I couldn't hold my breath as long as a vampire, but it would seem I would have to do that to wait for the response I had been expecting. Instead, of the exited look Alice always has when she's thinking about going on a shopping spree to max out her credit card, I was welcomed with a bored and, well, ironically, _dead_ look.

"No, Bella. There's too much to do. I'm sorry. I'm a bit testy from declining the offer to go hunting."

"Why didn't you go then?" I asked, slightly confused. "I thought it was because of all the planning you needed to do."

"Well, that was of course part of it. But I also knew needed to talk to me, and if I wasn't here, you would've chickened out." She said, her eyes closed, massaging her temples. The stress was taking a toll on her and making her almost, well, human. Then, she opened her eyes and the black-gold I saw completely crushed that absurd theory. But she was, as always, right. If she hadn't been here, I would've procrastinated asking her. That was a luxury I couldn't afford.

"OK." I responded feely very daft for missing its obviousness.

"All right, enough stalling." She said sitting up once more, her spine perfectly erect. A position any horseback rider would die for. And that's exactly what they would have to do.

"This is your one chance. Tell me, or I'll threaten you with nail polish." She said aggressively.

That caught my attention. Playing Dress-Up Barbie was not on my To-Do List.

"OK. I need to fix some things, and I'm not quite sure how to do that…" I looked up from the patterns I was absentmindedly with my finger to assess her reaction.

It was calm, for now. "I don't know, Bella. You're creative. I'm sure you'll think of something." She smirked.

"But I have." I responded.

Her expression was now puzzled.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, completely filling my lungs with air. I let it go slowly, going through my calming process.

Alice was obviously not as interested in delaying this any further.

She tapped her fingers impatiently as she said, "Bella, spit it out! I have lots still to do, and I don't need your procrastination to throw me off schedule." She growled aggressively to prove her point.

"OK. I'm sorry." I stuttered. I took in another deep breath. "I need you to cover for me."

"What?!" Alice exploded. "What are you talking about?!" she obviously hadn't been expecting this answer.

"I need to find Jacob." I whispered, barely audible for even Alice's sensitive ears. "I can't live like this anymore. I need to close things up with him."

"Do you have a death wish?!" Alice thundered pacing the length of the room. She looked truly scary, like a vampire."The wedding is two weeks away! There is no way I'm letting you leave. There's too much to do. And Edward! He'll be furious when he finds out you left! And Charlie and Renée! I won't be able to hide the fact that the bride went missing. Did you not think of _them_?" she continued, her voice ringing through the house. Probably the state, too.

It was true, though. I wasn't really sure what I would tell them, I thought, droning Alice out. But that was what Alice was for. I'd take care of the dirty work while she covered for me back here.

"Bella, are you even listening to me?" Alice glared at me. "You come to me in your time of need, and this is the respect I get?" It sounded like something from bad mafia movie. "You've cut me deep, Bella. You're like my emo knife, or something." She finished.

"Look, Alice. I'm sorry. I was thinking about what you said earlier, and you're right."

"I'm right? Really? What an idea." She said sarcastically, crossing her arms over her small frame.

"Alice, look. I can't leave things the way they are. I'm surprised I didn't think of this the second I found out he left. I need to find him so I can say good-bye." I explained.

"But you can't do that! There's too much to do!" She said, trying to interrupt me, and I wasn't going to let her.

"Alice? Can I finish please?" I asked with as much authority as my weak voice would allow.

She sighed, and I took it as a surrender. Humans: 1, Vampires: 0.

"Thank you." I continued. "I plan to only be gone for a week at most. That'll be enough time for me to find Jacob, and I'll still be here before the quests arrive. And it won't be too long for you to cover for me." I could tell Alice was burning with a question, so I paused to give her a chance to butt in without interrupting me.

"But what about Edward?" popped out of her mouth before she could clamp her hands to her mouth, her eyes wide in shock of what she just did.

If it weren't for the seriousness of the situation, I would've cracked up from the sight of her. She looked like a child waiting to be slapped fro stealing a cookie from those little bear shaped cookie jars.

"I thought it would be something like that." I chuckled. Suddenly serious (I must've been picking up Edward's mood swings), I said, "I'm going to leave a letter for him explaining why I left, and you're going to have to convince him not to come after me. And that you'll keep close tabs on me and once you see my future disappear, you'll give me an hour-30 minutes before you come and get me." I amended when I saw her angry expression.

"And how do I suggest I convince him?" she fumed through gritted teeth.

"I don't know, Alice. You're creative. I'm sure you'll think of something." I said, repeating the very words she spoke not long ago.

**AN: I'm going to add an entire page later completely explaining my contest. And to clear up any confusion in my story, the one time Bella goes to Edward's house before is in New Moon when she hopes to hear his voice when she goes there. Page 159 to be exact. Also, if you have any questions at all, feel free to ask them, please!! I am going to do a whole FAQ page with questions people ask frequently (Well, duh! JK lol). Also, please Review! The reviews are really what is keeping me going, besides my own enjoyment of course. If you don't review, that will lead me to believe that you do not care which will then put me in a state of depression leaving this story unfinished for who knows how long. Comprende? Now that that's cleared up, I hope you keep reading, and I promise to have Chapter 9 up soon. I'll have more time in the summer anyway. **

**ALSO!! Whoever reviews thew most before my next chapter will get a special dedication!! Thanks you guys!!**

**REVIEW!!**


	9. Apologize

**Disclaimer: All characters from the most amazing book ever, ****Twilight****, are unfortunately owned by Stephenie Meyer and not me. Any similarities with Breaking Dawn are mere coincidences. I did not copy the manuscript for ****Breaking Dawn****!**

**Author's Note: **

**I'm REALLY sorry for not posting this yesterday!! But, as all of you SHOULD know, Friday was Edward's 107****th**** Birthday and my friends and I had a sleepover to celebrate. It was awesome. I made a cake, we drank punch, watched Pride & Prejudice and tons of other stuff. I ended up getting 30-40 minutes sleep max. However, I was the one who got the sleep because I had been trying to stay up in honor of our favorite vamp. It didn't work out as well as I had hoped. I was quite disappointed. But I finished this chapter in one of the many hours I spent by myself in my room while my friends were all asleep in my living room. I even started on Chapter 10 and I must say I am doing a great job on it. Anyways, on Saturday most of my friends didn't leave until noon and then one stayed and we went to the pool. Then I went home with her so I could go to a baseball game with her and meet up with some friends. I didn't get home until like 12:30 AM and was asleep by 1:50 AM. I have a few more excuses, but I don't think you really need them. So I'm sorry, but I'm posting it now and I hope you all like it! **

**OK, the dedication for this chapter goes to ****LinkinPark101****! Thanks for reviewing so many times!! **

**The song for this chapter is **_**Leavin'**_** by Jesse McCartney. **

**OK, now for the Chapter Summary!!**

**Chapter Summary- Bella is getting ready to leave to find Jacob and she and Alice have a quite a few things to talk about. A little bit of Bella craziness. I tried taking it out, but it didn't really work. This is the second try at this chapter. I started off in a different direction, but it wouldn't fit in later on, and it was just too dry, you know? So I hope you like it as much as I loved writing it!!**

**SPOILERS FOR ANYONE WHO HASN'T READ TWILIGHT, NEW MOON, AND ECLIPSE!!**

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Chapter 9: Apologize

Standing in the Cullen's oversized garage, I was about to put the camping gear in my old, beat-up truck that Alice had pulled out for me, when the garage door opened.

"Surprise!" Alice shouted from the inside of a blue sedan that looked way too nice for Forks.

The dense sleeping bag I had been holding seconds before slipped from my fingers and fell with a light "thud" on the ground.

"Alice… who… what… huh?" I stammered. I seriously hoped that my gut feeling was wrong. That this car wasn't…

"It was _supposed_ to be your wedding present from Edward. But, seeing as I had a vision that your truck would break down at the border of Canada, I thought I'd go ahead and give it to you for him. Besides, it matches your outfit perfectly."

I looked down at the ridiculous fashionable hiking clothes Alice had bought for herself (but never used of course) and had now forced me into. They _were _the exact same shade of blue.

"Alice? Is this _really_ necessary?!" I exclaimed. Sure, the car was kinda cute, but I didn't need it. The Cullens. Having more money than you since forever. I couldn't believe the way they used money indispensably

"Yes it is! I don't want to have to come get you when that ancient truck of yours breaks down. I think it's time for your truck to permanently check-in to an elderly home." She explained, getting out of the little blue sports car that now tragically belonged to me.

"Alice?" I said through gritted teeth.

"Yes darling Bella?" she sang out as she swirled her way to where I was standing.

"Remind me to beat you up once I'm a vampire."

She laughed a musical laugh quite similar to her brother's.

"Jasper may not let you do that." She said smiling.

"I'd like to see him try and stop me." I threatened.

Alice juts laughed more at my expense.

We then lugged the camping supplies to my new Audi (as Alice told me). Although, it was only "lugging" on my part. Alice was done with her half by the time I was coming back for my second bag.

Everything was finally ready, and I realized we were at the goodbye stage. In just moments, I would be on my way to find Jacob.

"Thank you Alice. For everything." I said turning to face her.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll miss you, too. Now, I saw a storm heading this way in a couple of minutes, so I'd get on the road soon if I were you." Alice replied in her annoying, know-it-all voice.

"Oh, Alice!" I nearly sobbed, pulling her into a tight embrace.

I was never one to be big on emotions, but I couldn't help but start crying from the thought of leaving the little pixie-like vampire I was now hugging, no matter for how long.

"Geez, Bella! It was your idea and now you're crying! What are we going to do with you?"

"Um, stop giving me expensive presents?" I asked tentatively.

Alice laughed. "Good one, Bella! Now go get on your way before I change my mind."

"Wait, Alice. Can I ask you something?" I questioned, biting my lip.

"As always Bella. Unless of course this time you want to search the world for the long lost sister you've never known." She said in a sardonic tone.

"Wait! What! I have a sister! How come Renée never told me this? When did you see this Alice?" I probably continued with more useless banter, but I was more concerned with the sister I never knew. What other secrets had Renée kept from me? How had she been able to keep that secret anyway? Why-?"

"BELLA!!" Alice screamed, and then slapping me to pull me out of my hysteria. "Get a hold of yourself please! You didn't _really_ believe I was serious?! Goodness Bella! Edward was right! You'll believe anyone with the least bit of talent. Although, I have over 107 years of experience…" Alice continued, obviously annoyed with me. I would be too if my friend went crazy from hearing something that wasn't true. But, then again, it's hard not to believe every word that these hypnotic vampires told me, especially since I spent nearly every waking moment with them.

"I… don't have a sister…?" I stammered. I then silently hung my head in shame.

"I'm such an idiot!" I thought to myself. "How am I going to be able to show my face to Alice after this?"

_Well, you _have_ been through worse._

"Name one time."

_Well, there was the whole Edward leaving-_

I stopped that thought, taking control of my unruly thoughts.

Alice sighed, causing me to snap back into reality. "No, Bella, you don't."

"Oh." I said in a small voice. "I'm sorry." I finished, hanging my head lower.

"It's fine. I felt the same way when I was able to figure out who I was really was." Alice murmured, reassuringly.

"Ugh, I'm an idiot aren't I?" I said, although I secretly hoped that my fear was wrong.

"No… you just do idiotic things sometimes." Alice responded after much deliberation.

"Thanks Alice." I smiled and pulled her into another hug.

"Anytime Bella." Alice replied warmly, returning my hug.

It was in rare moments like these that I experienced true friendship. No secrets, no lies. Everything laid out to see. All your faults and weaknesses, but your strengths and assets, as well. No wonder I enjoyed Alice's company so much. When she wasn't forcing me to shop, at least.

My lovely thoughts were quickly interrupted by Alice's need to separate ourselves.

"Oh, I'm sorry Alice!" I immediately apologized.

What was wrong with me? Why did I have to keep messing up and then promptly apologize for it?

Almost as if she had momentarily borrowed her brother's special talent, Alice instantly said, "Bella, you don't need to apologize for everything! Goodness! It's like you're some sort of apologizing robot." She then shook her head and chuckled as if remembering some inside joke that I wasn't privy to.

I didn't bother to ask. She probably wouldn't have told me anyway.

"Anyways, your question?" Alice asked seriously.

"My question?" I repeated skeptically What was she talking about?

"Yes. You had something you wanted to ask me. What was it?" Alice inquired with an amount of patience I'll only ever begin to imagine. It seemed as if she was talking to a two-year-old **(AN: Lol. Chapter 8)**.

Suddenly, it hit me! I must've forgotten in all of my unnecessary excitement.

"Oh! Yes! I'm sorry, I'd forgotten about that, but can you really blame me?" I paused in order to let Alice throw in another of her comments.

However, based on her actions, it seemed as if she was waiting for me to finish.

"Oh! Right! Sorry!" There I was with the "sorrys" again. "Well, first, I was wondering why you couldn't see the details of our previous conversation and how you couldn't see what I would ask."

"Oh. That's all? That's easy enough." Alice laughed. "I thought it would be another _unreasonable_ request. Well, I think that you hadn't fully decided if you would talk to me or not at the time I saw the vision." She paused for effect. I just found it irritating. "I also didn't have time to see more before you came. Does that answer your question?" she asked, truly curious as always.

"Oh, yeah." I had been too much enthralled in her explanation of her visions, as I always was, that I hadn't realized she had stopped.

"Good. If that's all…?" she questioned, a look of worry forming on her too-perfect face.

"I have just one more. Why?" I asked, observant for once.

"Nothing, nothing." She said unconvincingly. "What is it?"

"Well, I was wondering if you still see me and Edward getting married." I asked hopefully.

"Of course, Bella! What a silly thing to ask! And with all the work I've been doing, you'd better still be getting married!" she exclaimed with a look of excitement coming back to her previously worried face.

"OK. Thanks." I smiled with much gratitude.

"You're welcome, Bella. Now, it'll be hard enough to tell Edward you left, but I'd rather it was done when you were a bit further from Forks." She explained. I then realized we had been standing still for more that 2 consecutive minutes and the torture must be getting to Alice. I could practically see her itching to move her limbs freely.

"All right, Alice. As you wish. But, really. Thank you for all the help."

"Anytime Bella. Just promise me you won't do it again." Alice glared at me.

"Of course Alice. I just need to do this for me, you know?" I clarified for the umpteenth time.

"Do you pinky promise?" Alice asked seriously with her pinky finger held out towards me, ignoring my explanation.

"Fine, Alice." I said extending my own pinky. How she said it with a straight face, I'll never know.

I looked up and saw the sky had grown considerably darker, and the storm clouds Alice had predicted were rolling in.

A light drizzle began just as Alice said, "OK, time for the human to be on her way." And started leading me towards my new car.

"Take care Bella." She encouraged as she opened the door for me.

You too Alice. I'll see you in a week. Have fun without me." I joked.

Yeah right." I thought I heard Alice murmur under her breath, but then, the door closed on me, not giving me a chance to ask her about it.

I sighed a put my key in the ignition of my new Audi 2008 Audi RS4 sedan(as the owner's manual said).

I then pulled out of the Cullen's extremely long driveway and turned onto the tree-lined road towards the highway. I was on my way to find the only once-human werewolf I had ever loved.

**Author's Note:**

**OK. I love you all, but if I do not get at least 20 reviews for this chapter (or until I post next), I may just stop this story! Yeah, I went there. OK, I won't stop it, I'll just keep it for my own personal enjoyment. I know 28 people read my last chapter (So sad from my once 700!), so 20 reviews shouldn't be too hard! C'mon! Just push the button below! I know you want to!! And just say "great." seriously, I would love that so much and it would brighten up my usually dull life. So PLEASE Review!! I'm begging you!! Down on my knees with my puppy dog face on**

**OK, groveling done. Hope I didn't scare you! But please review. I'll leave it at that. **

**Love you all! Even when you don't review!!**

**PiercingGoldenEyes**


	10. Depression

**Disclaimer: All characters from the most amazing book ever, ****Twilight****, are unfortunately owned by Stephenie Meyer and not me. Any similarities with Breaking Dawn are mere coincidences. I did not copy the manuscript for ****Breaking Dawn****!**

**Author's Note:**

**This chapter is dedicated to Edward Cullen because I didn't get the reviews I wanted!! Also, Edward is the only one you can count on.Plus, I won't dedicate a chapter to somebody twice! This is quite dissapointing because I know 23 people read my previous chapter! I guess this chapter describes me perfectly then.**

**The song for this chapter is _The Call_ by Regina Spektor.**

**Chapter Summary- I decided to do it from** **Edward's POV** **because I thought you should just get a feel of how Edward was taking this. And yes, Adidasgrl328, he is pissed. So this chapter basically is showing how Edward is taking all of this. He's not taking it so well I might add.**

**Plus, this chapter is shorter than most and I wanted to post something before I go on vacation for two weeks. Sorry! But there will be a lot of driving in the car so I promise to finish at least 2 chapters before I come back!!**

**So enjoy!**

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Chapter 10: Depression

**Edward's POV**

I read the letter that had been left for me once more, although, not really reading what it said. I had practically memorized it already, but I needed to read those words again to try and accept the finality of them.

"_Dear Edward_" it began.

"_You have no idea how much this hurts to do this to you, but I would hurt even more if I didn't. I need to do this for myself before we get married. Don't get mad at Alice when you find out. It probably hurt her enough to agree to help me (which wasn't easy I might add)._

_I'm sorry. I went to find Jacob. I know you're angry, but please, hear me out. I'm not choosing him over you. I just need to make sure he's OK and apologize for hurting him… again._

_Please, don't follow me. Alice is keeping a close eye on me and she knows what to do in case something happens._

_I love you, and please don't do anything drastic while I'm gone. You know what I'm talking about._

_I'm sorry. I'll see you in a week._

_Forever Yours,_

_Bella"_

"She went to comfort that dog?" had been my first thought upon reading the letter.

I had known for quite some time how much Bella cared for that d- Jacob. It shouldn't have surprised me that she would do something like this. But the thing is, it did. She would be quiet or thoughtful at times and I knew her thoughts were turned towards him. I was aware that she called Billy. Way more than I would've liked I might add.

And yet, I couldn't get rid of the initial shock I had felt.

Arriving home from hunting had been anything but pleasant.

I cringed from just the thought of it. My entire being had taken a life of its own and has therefore made it easier to be around Bella.

Ah, Bella.

I had been surprised I had even let myself think that beautiful name of the only person to touch my non-beating heart.

The person who had now left me to comfort another.

I had the strange feeling of déjà vu. In remembrance o leaving Bella not 10 months ago.

But, I now had an idea of what Bella cringe must've gone through when I cringe left her.

It was one thing to leave someone when you know your reasons and that you're justified. In your mind at least.

But, it's a whole new experience to be left by your beloved. I knew it wasn't permanent, but the pain hurt just the same.

I cringed once more in the pain I was inflicting on myself. I must have a death wish. OR a damnation wish, at least.

Although, now, unfortunately, there were no bloodthirsty vampires in job to do the job.

Not that I wanted to die. No. Quite the contrary. I just wanted to find some way to just live (or non-live in my case) through the next 5 days. Or was it 4? I had been lying here on my bed for so long, I had lost track of the time.

Sometimes I wished I could just sleep, if only for a second, just to take a break from the never-ending thoughts that constantly invaded my mind.

Mine, I could handle if I put in the effort. But my unmanageable thoughts plus everyone else's was unbearable.

And their thoughts were quite loud and aggravating at the moment.

They all had one thing in common though. Me.

For the past 48(or was it 72?) hours or so, their thoughts were centered on me.

Rosalie was worrying, more like wondering to be exact, if this depression would be as abd as my previous one. Emmett was thinking how he missed having someone to joke around with, while at the same time comforting Rose.

Esme was being her usual motherly self and was concerned if I was going to run off again.

Carlisle was working, so a little bit of the weight was lifted from not hearing my "father's" worries.

Jasper was out hunting nearby, but not too close enough to hear his thoughts, so that was also a relief.

Earlier he had tried to affect my emotions, but had stopped after my second outburst.

And last, but by no means least, was Alice, the majority of the reason behind my fury.

Her thoughts had been the most aggravating to me. They had finally been silenced after I had yelled at her to stop.

Also, the fact that I was using all of my strength to block her out greatly helped to keep her infuriating thoughts out of my head.

Thinking about her again, however, let her gain access to invade my mind with her thoughts.

"Edward! I know you can hear me!" Alice's shrill voice echoed as if she was standing right next to me. "You need to stop this foolishness! It's infantile and immature! If I'm OK with Bella cringe leaving, you should be, too!"

"That may be true, but you know what's happening to her, and I don't." I retorted in the confinement of my thoughts.

As if Alice had briefly borrowed my power, I saw flickering images of Bella driving, Bella hiking, Bella sleeping.

She seemed fine, which greatly helped my anxiety.

However, seeing her there without me sent another spasm of pain up and down my body.

Alice would be paying for this when I recovered.

How could someone so pixie-like be so annoying and aggravating?

As if her psychic abilities weren't enough to drive anyone insane, it made matters worse when she rubbed it in your face as she did to me just seconds before. Add that to her shopping obsession and party planning habits, she was one vexing vampire.

As if on cue, she slammed open my door and stormed in as if she owned the place.

"Speak of the midget." I thought glumly to myself, not in a good enough mood to even laugh at one of my better jokes.

"Edward! This has got to stop! You're affecting everyone with you problems and you don't even mind!

"Jasper had to leave because your emotions were too strong for him! Carlisle and Esme are so worried about you, but they don't know how to approach you! Rosalie is worried you'll break up the family again, and Emmett cares too, but he won't say it aloud.

"And how do you think I'm taking this? Along with all the planning, I also have to deal with a depressed bridegroom! Do you not care about your family anymore?" She lectured with the authority of one of my old college professors.

"Alice, just leave me alone." I said knowing, that if I didn't, she'd never be happy.

"Fine. Waste the time away. See if I care." She stomped out of the room and shut the door so hard, it nearly came out of its hinges.

"Fine, I will." I thought stubbornly and lay there waiting for my sentence to hell to be over.

**

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****Author's Note:**

**And Review!!**

**Sorry, again. I'll be gone for two weeks on vacation. I will try my best to get some work done, but I can't make any promises!**

**PiercingGoldenEyes**


	11. Alone

****

Disclaimer: All characters from the most amazing book ever,

**Twilight****, are unfortunately owned by Stephenie Meyer and not me. Any similarities with Breaking Dawn are mere coincidences. I did not copy the manuscript for ****Breaking Dawn****!**

**Author's Note:**

**This chapter is dedicated to ****TheAddictedFanWriter****. I heart ya, buddy!**

**The song for this chapter is _Far Away_ by Nickelback.**

**Chapter Summary- Five days have passed since Bella has left Forks to try to recover her beloved Jacob. We can see that the solitude has taken a toll on her, and she is constantly worrying. There is no interaction with anyone else, so you are basically in Bella's mind for the entirety of this chapter.**

**After this chapter, there are going to be 3 or 4 more chapters (including Chapter 12). In order to finish this before ****Breaking Dawn**** comes out, I will hopefully be updating more often. No guarantees though! Also, so clarification on my dedications, no one can win more than once just to let you know, but that shouldn't stop you from reviewing please! But for now, enjoy Bella's mind!**

**SPOILERS FOR ANYONE WHO HASN'T READ TWILIGHT, NEW MOON, AND ECLIPSE!!**

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Chapter 11: Alone

The omnipresent green that had been surrounding me for the past 120 hours or so, seemed even stranger now when the only sound I could hear was my boots crunching on the layer of leaves beneath my feet.

Standing here, out in the wild, it seemed as if my journey here had been but a dream.

Driving to the Canadian border had been a breeze. Although, I swore I had heard a pained cry off in the distance as I had given my passport to the man at the Customs building on the border.

I had driven as far as I could before I had to start hiking.

The (I refused to think of it as mine) new car didn't have 4WD like Emmett's did. Even if it did, there was no room to squeeze the flashy sport car in between the crowded trees.

Plus, Alice obviously hadn't realized that I wouldn't be able to drive the Audi right into the forest.

Did she think I'd find him in the city? In a shopping mall, perhaps? Or, better yet, I'd just follow the signs and he'd be at the end of the road?

Despite whatever Alice had been thinking (and trust me, sometimes I don't want to know), I still had been forced to park the car on the side of the road and take my supplies from the trunk and begin my hike through the unknown forest.

My plan was simple: just walk around aimlessly hoping that if Jacob was around, he'd catch my scent and come find me.

It obviously wasn't going so well.

I had passed the previous few days with only the company of a few squirrels, birds, and the other occasional animals I saw.

Holy crow! Look at me! I'm turning into a modern day Snow White! Ha! I didn't see myself getting turned into _that_ fictional character.

Anyways, I had encountered nothing bigger than a fox, and for that, I was grateful. However, that also slightly discouraged me from finding anything bigger.

I had tried to repress thoughts of what would happen if I failed at times like these when I grew bored and lonely, but now I couldn't hold them back behind the wall in my head that I had built around them.

I had not kept track of the directions I had taken from the road where my car was. But, even if I had, who knew if my car was even still there?

I'd be delighted to be rid of the ostentatious, new car, but Edward would probably just insist on buying me and even better and faster car.

Ah, Edward.

I would have to use all my will power to hold back these memories until I could finish my current train of thought.

Where was I? Oh, yes, getting back.

But I knew Alice would see me and come and get me when my time was up, so I knew I didn't have to worry about getting home.

I was more concerned with the emotional problems I would have with not being able to see Jacob before I was married and then changed into someone completely foreign and unknown to me.

I could hold the thoughts back no longer.

Memories and thoughts flooded into my mind so fast, that I scarcely had a moment to look at one before it was replaced with another.

Leaving Edward this time was nearly as bad as when I left him to give myself up to James.

Except, now, I would be returning to him afterwards and seeing the pain in his eyes from my betrayal,

I could only fathom Edward's pain right now and hope that he would listen to me and not torture himself with the anguish he felt.

I sighed from the exhaustion of all the thoughts racing through my mind.

This immediately created an image of little men with the word "thought" on their shirts all racing towards a finish line.

"Not being able to talk to anyone was definitely beginning to take a toll on me." I concluded.

Who even knew if my voice still worked anymore?  
I then started talking to myself, just to get rid of the boredom.

**(Author's Note: I realize this next part is very confusing, so read this and you shouldn't have a problem. Or you can completely disregard my advice and be so confuzzled that you are going to want to come and rip my eyes out or something equally pleasant. Whatever is most comfortable for you. But I would prefer you didn't rip out my eyes, or any other organs, thank you very much. **

**Anyways, Bella is basically talking to herself, and words in **normal** print are being said aloud. Words in **_**italics**_** are being thought in her head. Hope this clears everything up and please don't rip any of my vital organs out!)**

"So, how are you Bella?" I verbally asked myself. Yep. Definitely going crazy. Maybe I should call Alice and ask her to go ahead and reserve a rubber room for me when I get back.

"_Terrible."_ I thought.

I was answering myself. That was even worse. But I couldn't stop. I now had someone to vocalize my feelings to, even if it was, well, me.

"Oh really? Why?" I questioned.

"_Because I need to find Jacob, and I'm not locating him. Because I had to leave Edward t do this, and I'm not even doing what I meant to accomplish. Because I'm tired, but I need to keep walking. And, to top it all off, I'm talking to myself!"_ I fumed.

"Wow, and I thought _I_ had it bad." I responded.

"_Really? What problems might you possibly have?"_ I questioned sardonically.

"Oh, everything but that talking to myself thing." I said as if it was common knowledge.

I sighed in annoyance with myself.

Is it really _so_ hard to go five days in the woods without going mad?

Fortunately, it seemed as if my crazy pill had worn off, and I didn't respond to my rhetorical question. **(Author's Note: I want to thank my brother for helping with the wording for this section especially "crazy pill." That's all him. Thanks little bro!)**

Along with that **(Author's Note: This is all me again now!****)**, I became aware that there was an unnatural silence that shrouded the part of the forest I had just entered, and with good reason as I soon saw.

A sort of eerie aura hung over the trees like fog. It looked as if some sort of enormous animal had come through, leaving destruction behind him like tracks. The trees were all scratched up, and some were even demolished and uprooted.

What if it was-!?

I stopped myself before I became overeager. However, I couldn't help but hope that it was _my_ wolf who had made this damage to the forest.

I wasn't able to ponder more on the subject because just then, I tripped over a branch that had once been connected to one of the nearby trees, and I saw no more.

**

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****Author's Note:**

**Please review! Reviews Equals Love. And currently, I'm not getting any! PLEASE! This story is ALMOST done! Review and you might get a special dedication!**

**PiercingGoldenEyes**


	12. Reunion

**Disclaimer: All characters from the most amazing book ever, ****Twilight****, are unfortunately owned by Stephenie Meyer and not me. Any similarities with Breaking Dawn are mere coincidences. I did not copy the manuscript for ****Breaking Dawn****!**

**Author's Note:**

**This chapter is dedicated to Potter.vs.Cullen! I miss you too my little Tafia minion!**

**The song for this chapter is _Realize_ by Colbie Caillat.**

**Chapter Summary- Bella has regained consciousness, but what happens when she meets someone else in the woods?**

**I told you guys I would have two chapters done! Yay me! I'm so proud of myself! You should be, too! Review to let me know how proud you are!**

**

* * *

**Chapter 12: Reunion

A darkness surrounded me, and at first I thought I was asleep. Then, rational thoughts slowly seeped into my brain, and I realized that that option wasn't possible.

I slowly remembered that I had hit my head and had been lying here on the damp, hard forest floor for who knows how long.

I tried to open my eyes once I had realized this, but found it impossible because of the pain aching through my body. Also, because of the fact that right then, I heard someone quietly approach.

I lay there silently hoping that the mysterious person would not notice me and continue on their way, although I knew that my effort was in vain.

The noiseless footsteps grew slowly louder until I could tell that they had stopped right beside me.

Somehow, I managed to find an inkling of courage inside me, and I opened my eyes to a looming figure above me, but with a familiar face. Or, snout I should say.

"Jacob?" I asked tentatively in recognition.

The gigantic, reddish-brown wolf then licked my face, and I took it as "Duh! What other big, ginormous werewolves do you know?"

"Aww, Jake! Gross! "I laughed, while wiping my face off with one of my hands. I then used Jacob's fur as a towel.

He backed away when I did this, and it made me laugh even harder.

I sat up slowly, testing my muscles.

When I groaned, I could see Jacob's concern in his eyes.

"Hey! You try getting up after being unconscious all day."

He then tilted his head as if to as, "What did your klutziness do now?"

"I tripped over a tree branch if you must know, and don't worry. I've been through worse. You would know." I gave him the death glare and instantly regretted it. I hadn't come to accuse him, but I already hadn't been with him two minutes before I started letting my feelings get out of control.  
He hung his head in shame, and I immediately felt sorry my harsh words.

"Jake, I'm so sorry. I'm such a jerk aren't I? I promised myself I wouldn't bring that up." I asked. Jake then barked a laugh as if in agreement. "Hey! That was a rhetorical question!" But I couldn't stay mad at him for long and soon, I was laughing along with him.

Then, I realized I was still on the ground. "Um, Jake? Give the klutzy human a hand, will you?"

He laugh-barked again, but he still came over and helped me stabilize myself so I could stand up.

I stood up slowly with Jake's and reached up to hug the gargantuan animal before me. I ran my fingers through the soft fur I had come to know while Jacob made his weird throaty humming sound.

I wanted to tell him how much I missed this sort of easy friendship, but rather than encourage him, I simply whispered, "I've missed you."

He moved closer to me then, and I didn't object.

Either way, I was leading him on, but right now, I didn't care. My best friend was back.

**A****uthor's Note:**

**Did you know the best way to show love and appreciation is by REVIEWING other people's FanFics! Celebrate Official Reviewing Day by reviewing all FanFics you read! Including mine! **

**OK, it's not really "Official Reviewing Day," but the concept should be used every time you read a FanFic. I don't care if you completely criticize my story (I'd rather you didn't though), just as long as you review!**

**Love you all and will hopefully have the next chapter done soon! I will soon be updating my profile with all my future ideas for FanFics so you guys have an idea of everything I want to do.**

**PiercingGoldenEyes**


	13. Confrontation

**Disclaimer: All characters from the most amazing book ever, ****Twilight****, are unfortunately owned by Stephenie Meyer and not me. Any similarities with ****Breaking Dawn**** are mere coincidences. I did not copy the manuscript for ****Breaking Dawn****!**

**Author's Note:**

**OK, I am almost done with this story and I hope to have it all posted before Breaking Dawn is released. To do that, I will have to write the next chapter and the epilogue in less than six days. I would really like some more reviews before then. Also, I will be putting my other FanFic ideas on my profile soon, so check those out and vote for which one you want me to work on first! I'd also like to start thanking everyone who has stuck by me since the beginning, especially my beta and best friend potter.vs.cullen. Thanks for introducing me to ****Twilight**** and . Without you, I'd be so lost when you talk about Edward and Jacob's hotness. I'd also probably be wanting to hit you on the head for talking about the movie, ****Breaking Dawn****, Spunk Ransom, and etc. all the time. Thanks for inducting me into the "cult." Lol.**

**This chapter is dedicated to ****Shannonn14**** and ****TWilightabssesion****. They both reviewed two times. Thanks for the support!!**

**The song for this chapter is _What About Now_ by Daughtry****.**

**Chapter Summary- Bella and Jacob are talking things out. But what happens when Jacob realizes something about Bella that he had forgotten? **

**SPOILERS FOR ANYONE WHO HASN'T READ TWILIGHT, NEW MOON, AND ECLIPSE!!**

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Chapter 13: Confrontation

Jake then helped me hobble over to a sort of campsite I guess he had created from the demolished trees that were in an abundance around here.

He made sure I was safely seated before he ran off into the woods.

At first, a panic spread over me and squeezed my lungs making it so that I couldn't breathe. But, as always, as soon as Jacob came back, I was fine.

Intelligent thoughts slowly entered my brain, and I realized that he had left so that he could phase back into his human form.

I must admit, it had been kind of hard to communicate with a werewolf.

As Jake walked towards me, I couldn't help but gasp from the psychical changes I could see. His hair had grown even longer, a result of no barbers wishing to open up stores in the area. He seemed skinnier, yet more muscular (if that was even possible). Then, I finally looked at his face. The expression was happy, but it had a hint of sadness hidden beneath it s if the current joy was just that. Current.

He was wearing his usual cut-off sweats, no shoes, and no shirt. And he was running right towards me.

"Bella! Oh my gosh! I've missed you so much!" He exclaimed as he pulled me into his signature bear hug that would've put Emmett to shame.

"Jake! Can't… Breathe!" I gasped.

"Oh! Sorry! I keep forgetting how fragile your lungs are." He teased, still hugging me, but not as hard.

"Hey! It's not my fault that you're super strong. And for your information, breathing is kind of required to live, last time I checked." I could tell he was about to interject something, so I hastily added, "For humans."

We both knew well enough that vampires didn't need to breathe, and I wondered why he would even consider bringing it up when we were just reunited.

"Well, now that we're both breathing and living, why don't we talk?" He said, gesturing to the tree trunks that I assumed could be used for chairs. Jake guided me over there and took a seat next to me.

"So… what've you been doing for the past six weeks or so?" I asked, breaking the ice.

This had a vague feeling of the reunion Edward and I had had last spring, but with a sharper edge.

"Do you want the truth or my own imaginative answer?" he inquired, taking my right hand.

"Truth please." I asked sweetly hoping that would influence him to trust me.

"Truthfully, then, I've been wallowing in my own pain and self-pity." He replied bitterly.

"Jake-" I started to comfort him before he cut me off.

"Please, Bella. This isn't your fault. I brought this upon myself, I just couldn't handle it. You made your choice, and I made mine. And no matter how much we want to, we can't go back and change it." He said with a new-found wisdom I never knew he could possess.

"But Jake. That's why I came back. To try and fix the problems I started." I tried to explain briefly. The entire workings of my mind were even too complex for me to understand, let alone explain.

"Well, I can mark that one off." Jacob laughed.

I stared at him in confusion. "Mark what off?" I asked, knitting my eyebrows, trying to understand what he was talking about.

"Well," he started looking embarrassed now, "I made a list in my head of all the questions I have for you. And you've already answered one without me asking it."

"Oh." I simply said. I wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, so instead I asked the next question from a list of my own. "Well, then, what made you leave?"

"Well, I guess I _technically_ it was Leah, but it was what she was saying that really got to me." He said trailing into some memory that I wasn't a part of.

"Well, what did she say?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me. He couldn't expect me not to be interested after that vague sentence.

"Basically, she talked to me about you…" He gauged my reaction before continuing with, "and what would happen if you married _Edward_ and became, well, one of them." He said, trying to find the right words to express all that he was feeling right now.

Then I picked up on the keyword. "If?" I glared.

"Well, you obviously didn't choose him if you're here with me…  
That's when he finally noticed the web of diamonds glittering on my hand.

"You still have it." He managed to gasp.

"It would appear that way." I said in a nonchalant manner.

"What was the big deal?" I wondered silently. "Did he think that I came here because-?" No he wouldn't. Would he?

Understanding infiltrated the deep corners of my brain, and I realized what Jake had been thinking.

"You thought I came here for you." I gasped, realizing the surprisingly correct conclusion I had just come to. "Oh, Jake! I'm so sorry! I never meant to hurt you!" I reached out for him, but he pulled away and took his hand from mine.

"Yeah, well, it's a little bit late for that _Bella_." He said my name with a harshness I had never heard before. Well, at least when he was speaking to me.

"Jacob, what's wrong? I can help." I pleaded, trying to get him to let me comfort him.

"Do I have to explain it to you? Geez, Bella. And I thought you were smart." He laughed with a sharp edge to it. "Well, if you must know, I thought you traveled thousands of miles to be with me because I thought you had dumped Bat Boy when you realized it was _me_ you loved the most. _Me _you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. _Me_… and now I've found out that it's just a pity visit and that you're still marrying that bloodsucker and basically killing yourself. That's what's wrong." He fumed, getting up and breaking one of the few remaining intact trees with what looked like no effort at all.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, tears starting to drizzle from my eyes.

"I don't need your apology. I need your love. That's all I've ever wanted from you, and you can't even give me that." He spoke with a severity that he'd never directed at me before.

"I'm sorry Jake. I wish I could… I wish you could mean to me what I mean to you, but… I just can't…" I sobbed, barely choking out each word.

"Yeah, you can wish it, but that doesn't mean you Fairy Godmother will grant it." He responded.

"Please Jake. Don't act like this." I begged him. I couldn't stand losing him a third time. **(Author's note: The first time in New Moon when Jake says he can't hang out with Bella anymore after he changes into a werewolf. The 2****nd**** in Eclipse when she chooses Edward over Jacob. And I guess you could technically count when Jacob leaves at the end of Eclipse and Bella finds out. Ok, so 3 times. I lied, sorry.) **

"I can't." He said through clenched teeth. "I'd rather you hate me than feel sorry for me."

"But I don't hate you." I whispered, the tears coming out faster and harder.

"Well, I wish you did!" he snapped.

"Just because you wish it doesn't mean that your Fairy Godmother'll grant it, Jake." I repeated, laughing. Somehow humor had found me in this bleak moment.

"Hilarious Bella. Now get out of my sight!" He exploded.

I finally looked up at his face, and I could see he was struggling for control. Every comment I had made, every tear I had cried, had just made it harder for him to control his anger.

"Jake?" I murmured, truly scared in his presence.

"Just go Bella. You disgust me." He said, turning around and phasing in just seconds. From my peripherals, I could see he was running away. Again.

I took his advice and ran, not looking where I was going.

"I pushed my legs faster, letting Jacob Black disappear behind me." **(The quote is from ****Eclipse****. Not my own work! It is owned by the wonderful Stephenie Meyer!)**

**Author's Note:**

**And review please!! Only two chapters left!! Then my sequel!! Yay!!**

**Heart ya guys!**

**PiercingGoldenEyes**


	14. Return

**Disclaimer: All characters from the most amazing book ever, ****Twilight****, are unfortunately owned by Stephenie Meyer and not me. Any similarities with ****Breaking Dawn**** are mere coincidences. I did not copy the manuscript for ****Breaking Dawn****!**

**Author's Note:**

**I'd like to start by thanking everyone who has ever read my story and all the support I've had for the past 10 months or so. I realize I stopped writing for a while and I want to apologize (just like Bella) for that. I realize a lot of people stopped reading after that, but I especially want to thank everyone who came back and kept reading my Fan Fic. I realize there are many other better ones out there and I'm blessed to even have the amount of readers that I do. This is the last real chapter before my epilogue so I hope you all enjoy the conclusion I am coming to.**

**And thanks for 3501 total hits to all my chapters, 33 reviews, 17 favorites, and 24 story alerts. Without you, I would probably never have an ending to this story. I heart you all and hope you keep reading my other stories!!**

**This chapter is dedicated to **

**The song for this chapter is **_**1000 Miles**_** by Vanessa Carlton.**

**Chapter Summary- Bella meets up with Alice and heads back to Forks, leaving her problems behind… Or so she thought…**

**SPOILERS FOR ANYONE WHO HASN'T READ TWILIGHT, NEW MOON, AND ECLIPSE!!**

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Chapter 14: Return

I didn't have far to go before I literally ran into Alice and we both toppled to the hard, leaf-covered ground.

But I wasn't concerned with the bruises I would have in the morning, or possibly later today. The emotional problems I had been trying so hard to avoid had caught up with me after all.

I then realized I had been laying there like an idiot while Alice had been trying to help me get up on my own feet, although I wasn't sure if I could do that. I could barely even breathe at the moment.

"Bella?" Are you OK? I heard what happened. Bella?" Alice worried. "Bella, I can't have a wedding with the bride in a semiconscious coma." She then fretted.

"Alice?" I whispered, begging her to stop talking.

"Yes, Bella?" She leaned closer to hear me.

Was I really that quiet?

"I shouldn't have come." I sobbed while finally letting what had just happened sink in.

"It's OK, Bella. I'm here." Alice, said, hugging me.

It was comforting, although it was strange hugging her petite figure.

This made me chuckle, which then made me cry harder for laughing in this situation.

My tears came out faster and harder than ever before, getting increasingly worse. A snowball effect. And I happened to be in the middle of a snowball sandwich.

"Shh, shh. You needed to do this." Alice comforted. "You would've never been happy until you did."

"But I'm not happy." I sobbed, stating the obvious.

"I can see that, but it'll get better in time. I know it."

"How do you know?" I whimpered.

"Because I know you, Bella. You're strong. You'll make it through this." She encouraged. "Also, the fact that I can see the future doesn't hurt either." She joked.

Me? Strong? Ha! I knew in which sense she meant, but truthfully, neither one really applied to me.

"C'mon. We need to start walking before it gets too dark." She said glancing around uneasily.

"We're walking?" I questioned through my tears.

"Well, from what I've heard, you don't seem to like running very much, so I guess we're stuck at this slow pace." She explained.

Desperately wanting to get out of this wretched forest, I irrationally said, "I don't mind running," without stopping to think. I'd never ran with Alice before, and honestly, I wasn't sure if she could carry me.

Of course, I was forgetting the fact that she had super-strength.

"OK, hop on." She said, leaning over.

My tears hadn't been running as fast for the past minute, so I luckily could see clearly to "hop on" her back as she referred to it.

But using that terminology reminded me of my previous thought, and instantly, an image of thoughts and tears racing was formed in my mind.

I chuckled at the absurdity of my brain before I quickly closed my eyes, and then, we were off.

It wasn't like other similar trips I had taken on the backs of vampires. For one, Alice wasn't nearly as fast or as tall as the vampire that I was usually with when he ran.

I refused to think his name while I was still in pain over the other one.

I didn't allow myself to think that name either.

Then, suddenly, we came to a stop. It seemed that just as it had begun, it was over.

"I walked more than this." I whispered, still not trusting my voice.

"That's just one of the many perks of being a vampire. You save so much precious time. Well, we don't really need to, seeing as we have all the time in the world. But it is quite useful when you're running late for things, as we are now."

"What are we late for?" I whispered, still not trusting myself not to burst into tears at any moment.

"Your wedding silly! The guests arrive in two days, and we still need to get you home out flesh out your alibi." Alice had the same nervous expression on her face, but I didn't get a chance to ask her about it because just then she said, "Come on, Bella! The car's this way."

Then, I realized we were on a stretch of the road I had originally driven on to get here, but before the place where I had stopped.

I followed Alice before she left me behind. Despite her short stature, she was quite swift.

I needed something to distract me before my mind took control of itself, so I quickly asked Alice, "What about my car?" Not that I really cared. I'd be happy to be rid of the unneeded car.

"It was stolen approximately 3 days, 2 hours, 23 minutes, and 50 seconds ago, but who's counting?" Alice joked.

I must admit, though, it did make the corners of my mouth pull up a little bit.'

I couldn't completely trust myself, so I asked another question, hoping that by directing the attention away from myself, I'd be able to keep my emotions in check. Well, that was the theory at least.

I started with the most trivial of the may I had, well, er, in my head.

"So, how have the wedding plans been going?" I asked, trying to sound casual, even though I knew I was failing miserably, to say the least.

Alice, however, took no notice to how strange the question was coming from my mouth and launched into a minute description of everything from how the flowers were almost delivered late to the bachelorette party being planned for me.

Like Jessica, I only needed to gasp or nod my head at the appropriate time while Alice talked, and it ended up being basically a one way conversation. However, this gave me too much time to think, something I didn't really want to do right now.

Luckily, by the time we ended up at the car, Alice had reached a stopping point in her long and torturous story, so I quickly interjected, "Alice?"

"Yes, Bella?" she looked at me across the yellow Porsche, not at all annoyed by the fact that I just interrupted her while she was in the middle of talking about _wedding plans_.

"Well, um…" I stammered.

"You don't want to talk about wedding plans, do you." She stated. Not questioned, stated.

"How did you know?" I asked, shocked.

"For the love of Carlisle! Does everyone keep forgetting that I'm psychic?" She burst out and slid into the driver's seat.

"Oh, right. Sorry." I said in a small voice and got into the car as well. "Well, then, umm. When did you see the vision of me talking to-?" I asked, breaking off at that last bit.

"Yesterday afternoon actually." She informed me, starting the engine.

"And you got here that fast?" I wondered, incredulously.

"Bella." she sighed. "I realize you haven't seen me in 5 days, but could you please try to remember that vampires have a tendency to break the speed limit?" she explained, stepping on the gas pedal as if to prove her point.

"Sorry." I quickly apologized.

"And stop apologizing!!" Alice exploded.

Only then did I realize that her eyes were pitch-black, and I could only imagine the thirst she was currently trying to subdue.  
"Oh, Alice! I didn't realize you were so thirsty. Why didn't you go hunt?" I questioned, trying to calm her down.

"Well, I _was_ planning to, but a certain obnoxious teenager had to go and run off to see her little werewolf friend right at that moment, and I had to let it wait." She growled at me.

"Look, I'm sorry for that. I truly am. If I had known you were about to go hunt, I would've prolonged the moment before I got my heart broken the- the… I don't even know how many times!!"I sobbed. How many emotional breakdowns could one person possibly have in a single day.

"I'm sorry, too Bella." She said, breathing in through her nose and out with her mouth, trying to calm herself. "I shouldn't have yelled at you. It's not your fault. I'm just a bit… stressed today…"  
she explained, diverting her attention back to the road.

"From not hunting, correct?" I clarified.

"Sure. Let's go with that." She said absentmindedly, her thoughts clearly somewhere else.

"OK. Can I ask you something else then?

"As always, Bella."

"What's my excuse for disappearing for 5 days?" I questioned.

She smiled. "I said that you were spending the week with me to help with the planning."

"And they believed you?" I laughed.

"Well, I also said that you wanted girl time before you were married."

"And Charlie agreed with, well, Edward being there?" I sort of laughed-gasped. If that was even possible… But I had needed to say his name or Alice would've realized something was wrong. Not that she didn't know _that_ already.

"Well, we said the boys went on a camping trip to give us some space, which isn't a _total_ lie…" she trailed off, getting a mischievous look on her face.

"Well…?" I couldn't believe Alice could be so mean and torture me so.

"Well, Edward stayed behind, but Charlie doesn't know that. But he _is_ giving us space technically. He hasn't left his room once. He just stays in there and sulks." She informed me.

"Oh, Alice! I never meant to do that to him." I choked out, a spasm of pain going through my body.

"No, it's fine Bella. The boy seriously needed a reality check, but he's taking it completely the wrong way. He's acting like a whiny crybaby." Alice joked, but I couldn't laugh along. For one, I couldn't even imagine Edward as a "whiny crybaby." And, also, I was too much in pain from hurting him. My selfish wants were once more making him the victim. He'd probably be better off without me, although he'd never admit it.

"Why don't you rest, Bella? You've had a long day and an even longer drive ahead of you." Alice suggested, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"OK, Alice." I murmured. The truth was, I was exhausted, and it would probably be better for me not to be sleep-deprived when I saw Edward.

I pushed my chair back as far as it could go, and escaped from reality.

**Author's Note:**

**One more chapter and I will have finished my first Fic! I feel so proud of myself and want to thank everyone who has stuck with me this long, especially with Chapters 3 and 13. Those were both weird and hard ones. **

**Love you all and I hope you all enjoy my epilogue once I post it!!**

**PiercingGoldenEyes**


	15. Forgotten

**Disclaimer: All characters from the most amazing book ever, ****Twilight****, are unfortunately owned by Stephenie Meyer and not me. Any similarities with ****Breaking Dawn**** are mere coincidences. I did not copy the manuscript for ****Breaking Dawn****!**

**Author's Note:**

**Well, my first fic is OFFICIALLY over. And it only took me like 10 months to finish it!**

**This chapter is dedicated to Stephenie Meyer. Without having that amazing dream one night in the summer of 2003, this story would not exist. I wish her the best of luck with the rest of her career and ****Breaking Dawn****, releasing August 2!!**

**The song for this chapter is **_**Dirty Little Secret**_** by The All-American Rejects.**

**Chapter Summary- When Bella returns to Edward, a surprising secret in revealed. Something that will change both of their lives forever.**

**SPOILERS FOR ANYONE WHO HASN'T READ TWILIGHT, NEW MOON, AND ECLIPSE!!**

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Epilogue: Forgotten

"We're here, Bella." Were the words that I was woken up to.

"How long was I out?" I mumbled.

"The entire drive, which was about 5 hours." She explained, turning off the engine as we parked in the Cullen's massive garage.

"Wow. You do drive fast." I chuckled, getting out of the car to stretch my limbs.

"So, I'll get everyone out of the house so you can talk to Edward." She suggested conspiratorially in my ear.

"Sounds like a plan." I whispered back.

Esme and Rosalie must've heard us because a second later they were walking into the garage.

"Hey." I said nervously.

"Hello Bella!" Esme exclaimed, coming over to hug me. "We've all missed you so much."

"Thanks. I've missed you, too." I said, hugging her back.

Once we had stepped apart, there was a slight awkwardness between me and Rosalie. I had barely spoken to her since she had explained her story to me, and I wasn't sure if her opinion of me had changed, seeing as there was only one more week until the wedding. And that necessarily wasn't a good thing. **(AN: It's referring to Rosalie's opinion of her and how the opinion might be worse seeing as the wedding was so close.)**

"Hey, Bella." She merely said, but with a cordial tone.

"Hello, Rosalie." I said without stuttering. That was a good thing.

"Well, we'll leave you now." Alice said, skipping off with Rosalie and Esme to who knows where.

I took a deep breath and went to face my future.

XXXXXXXXX

The walk to Edward's room had to be the longest one in my life. Yet, I still found the courage to knock on his door.

He must be quite mad at me for leaving the country to find—my best friend. But I didn't think about that.

Instead, I imagined the look on his face when we were reunited. Although that was just seconds away. Or sooner, depending on his reflexes.

"Come in." I heard a velvet voice call, and it sent shivers up my spine. Although, I had swore I had heard a crack in his voice when he said it. But who knows. You can never trust these old, restored walls.

I slowly opened the door and took a big breath of air in.

Edward was lying on his bed, looking at some car magazine, trying to look as casual as possible. Instead, he just looked like the living reincarnation of all the Greek and Roman gods combined.

"Bella," Was all he had to say for me to run to him and ask forgiveness. OK, the semi-golden eyes looking at me from under those long eyelashes also had quite an effect on me.

"Oh, Edward! I'm so sorry." I sobbed, running into his marble arms.

My memories had not done him any justice at all. And were his biceps always, so… muscular?

"Shh. It's fine. I understand." He comforted me, pulling me onto his lap in a sitting position.

I cried for a while, and Edward just stroked my tangled hair before I choked out, "Aren't you mad at me?"

"I could never be mad at you Bella." He said tilting my chin up so I was looking straight into his smoldering eyes.

Why was he supposed to be mad at me again?

"You... couldn't…?" I asked dumbly. Why does he have to have this effect on me?

"No." He smiled, and right then, I expected him to kiss me, but he didn't.

I knew he had leaned forward towards me, but moved back and sighed with exasperation for some unknown reason.

He then shifted me off his lap and got up to pace swiftly across the room. In what small space there was, that it.

"Edward? Is everything all right?" I asked, scared to my bones.

"NO! It's not! Damn it!" He said, looking around for something to take his anger out on. When he found nothing he could safely break, he just yelled his frustration out. From what, I didn't know, but it must be something pretty horrible for him to react this.

"Edward, please. I can help." I said, starting to get up, but I was abruptly stopped.

"Please, Bella. It'll be easier if you're sitting." Edward said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

I slowly lowered myself onto the golden comforter as I was asked and waited for him to continue.

"I need to tell you something." Edward started.

"I'm all ears." I replied, Luckily, my brain wasn't being crazy at the current moment and, I didn't have an image of me covered in ears in my head.

"My memory has been altered. He said, completely throwing me off.

Whatever I had been expecting him to say, it _definitely_ hadn't been that.

"Wait. What?" I refused to believe his words. What did he mean by that anyways?

"Just listen please." He pleaded. "It's hard enough to say this without you reactions.

"OK. I'm sorry. It's just a lot to throw on me at one time." I took a deep breath to try and calm my now frantic nerves.

"A while ago, the beginning of junior year in fact, I met someone and things ended badly… And another vampire she was with had the ability to alter memories. He made everyone in town forget what happened. Including me."

"But if you memory was really altered… how do you know all of this?" I asked, for once observant. And why did he say "she?" And why would she be with a vampire? It made no sense.

"Alice had a vision that the person who I wanted so hard to forget, though it's been pretty easy, is coming back." He said, turning around to look out his window at the view of the mountains and the Sol Duc River.

"Who's coming back?" I asked, not quite following his thoughts.

"Elizabeth Anne Dashwood." He said simply as I laid back on his bed, watching my life crumble around me as we once again reached an impasse that I couldn't find any way out of.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Well, here it is. Complete and Finished. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Now, in about a week or so I'll be posting this story's sequel(or companion novel I guess you could say), The Beginning: A Lost Love. **

**I realize you are all confused, but leave a review and I will answer all! I will even be adding a seperate fic where I'l have all major questions answered for all of my stories, plus other extras and stuff.**

**Never mind. I'm answering all now cuz I don't want everyone to hate me because I confused them. Basically, this girl Elizabeth, is my own character that I created. Everyone got that? Good. She arrives in Forks the beginning of Junior year, as a human, and basically falls in love with Edward and they go out and stuff. But thngs kind of end badly with them, so she leaves while one of the vampires she came with alters everyone's memorys. She is now coming back. Once Alice had seen the vision, everything comes back to them and they remember it all. Edward isn't sure how Bella will take it and is quite conflicted. The Beginning: A Lost Love is really just what happens beginning of Junior year until the end of this story from Elizabeth's POV. Her names are all based upon characters from Jane austen's books(Her mom is a literature freak, mainly Jane Austen though). I hope this clarifies things a bit And sorry for any confusion I've given anybody!**

**I heart you all so much it's not even funny!**

**PiercingGoldenEyes**


	16. The Sequel Is Up!

OK, so my sequel to The Beginning: An Impasse, The Beginning: A Lost Love, is now officially online! I only currently have the first chapter up, which is really more like a prologue than a chapter… But anyways... I've been busy this week with getting stuff ready for school (kill me now) and have had to watch my brothers and let me tell you, it is NOT easy to write while being concerned that every second that they'll rip each other's heads off.

So, here's the official summary and I know this story is very confusing, just hear me out though. It was more confusing for me to think about it than it will be for you to read it. Trust me.

**Official Summary**

**At the beginning of junior year, Elizabeth Dashwood (I realize it's Edward's mother's name, but it's the name that fit her character) came with her family to Forks, Washington to start over, but what she ended up finding was love. Enticed by her blood, Edward is intrigued by her and their relationship grows. Meeting Edward was one of- strike that- the best thing that's ever happened to Elizabeth. But when a surprising discovery is found out about Edward's future, can their love survive? Told from Elizabeth's point of view, it's a story that shows that the things we can't have are often the things we want the most.**

* * *

Ok, hope this makes a little bit more sense, and other details will either be explained in the story itself or in my ever fascinating author notes!!

Heart ya all and hope you all keep reading it!

PiercingGoldenEyes


	17. Update

Hey! I know I haven't posted anything on this fic for awhile, but a few months ago, I finished the trailer I made for _The Beginning: An Impasse_, and just wanted to advertise it more openly. It is basically a montage of photos with text on them because my video editor hates me and won't let me use and of the number of Twilight Trailers I have saved on my computer. So, until I get a better program, this is it for now. You can find the link to the trailer on my profile.

Please watch and I promise I have a chapter and a half of _The Beginning: A Lost Love _completed. I just need to finish typing up Chapter Six and finish chapter 7. But, exams have ocne again butted their ugly head into my life. So the soonest I can post is Wednesday when they're all done!

I am sorry for my absence and hope nobody despises me!

~PiercingGoldenEyes


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